Occasionally, I like to sit on my porch and tell the kids (and defecating dogs) to stay off my lawn, to complain about the weather, reminisce about walking to school, upAndy, in the snow, both ways, and to yell at the cars to SLOW DOWN. That was the genesis of this workout. And, like almost any old man story, that is completely false. I actually realized about 1/7th of the way through Ma Bells ridiculous Hindenberg workout at FOD (the OG of Tuesday Carpex AOs) that my form was becoming exceedingly sloppy and rushed. Then, I looked at Hi-Liter and realized it wasn’t just me. So, I thought I would Q an entire workout where each rep was an agonizingly deliberate attempt to enforce good form. After an EC run with Ma Bell and entourage, we assembled in the wrong part of the parking lot. Quick coordination with the Bruisers, thorough disclaimer for FNG Scott, and we were off.
Beaker’s Beginnings (The Warm-up)
Jog around the back of the school to the playground, then lunch tables, then back to the elementary school stairwell, mixing in 25xSSH, 10x Good Mornings (’cause they’re slow), 10x Windmills (’cause they’re also slow) along the way. 5 at a time head to the eaves under the stairs for 5xSlow DOWN pull-ups (3-count down, 1-count back up. Jog back to the parking lot to meet up with the Bruisers.
Beaker’s Beatdown (The Thang)
Part I
If you’re planning to do slow reps, you better not do too many at once. What better way to accomplish that than with a Beast (6 exercises, repeated at 6 stations, 6 reps each station). So, all 823 PAX lined up at the end of the parking lot and, as a group, moved two parking lot spaces for each station for a total of five stations, returning to start for 6 burpees OYO for the 6th station.
Rnd 1 – Slow. DOWN merkins
Rnd 2 – Slow. DOWN squats
Rnd 3 – Slow. DOWN CDDs
Rnd 4 – Slow. DOWN lunges
Rnd 5 – Slow. DOWN Dragon merkins
Rnd 6 – Slow. DOWN monkey-humpers
Part II
Splitting away from the Bruisers once again, we headed down to the bottom of Andy to the Pile of Rocks Of Unusual Size (“R.O.U.S.s, I don’t believe in them”). Well, Wesley, neither did we today, because apparently the weeds loved Flo’s moisture and grew to “probably-concealing-Copperhead” height and YHC nixed the rocks. Audible to Slow. DOWN dips, derkins, irkins on the curbs. We Billy ran back up Andy to the flag to rejoin Billy and the other Bruisers.
Beaker’s Bellies (The Mary)
Sixes for Slow. DOWN. LBCs, American Hammers, Freddy Mercurys, and Shakiras/Beyonces. There would have been Homer-to-Marges had Kilmer showed.
Beaker’s Benediction (The COT)
NOR/COR: 29(!)
Announcements:
Pickles wants your children’s band-aids. Great cause and a pretty darn easy way to make someone’s day a little less terrible
The Odyssey (10/20) – need food and water jugs (5 gallon) for SAG wagon and participants. Visit F3Carpex.com and click on that red button that says “Sign up for the Odyssey!” (The exclamation point is a great touch Shut-In)
Prayers:
Praise for Doogie’s baby. A reminder to us all of the awesome responsibilities we bear to raise up young men and women who won’t walk on other people’s lawns
Prayers for Crimson’s nephew dealing with substance abuse and a life horribly off track
For all those affected by Flo
For the injured PAX among us (looking at you Repeato)
YHC took us out
Beaker’s BS (The NMS)
Pivot isn’t the loudest or most frequent mumblechatterer, but when he gets you, he gets you. Example: -Newly 49ed Nature Boy: Speak up Q, my hearing is going. I’m getting better looking with age, but can’t hear as well
-Pivot: I think your vision might be going as well
Awesome to have the Bruisers out. TClaps galore for men willing to come out and push while injured. I push the limits of my alarm clock and M’s patience while injured.
Pro-tip: If you have a good morning and have a nice day, you’ve won over Nature Boy
Napster has a cult following. Great to catch up with him and exhort him in his efforts to establish F3 Denver. YHC promised to attend all F3 Red Rock or Keystone AOs
Neither Sooey and Crimson nor Ma Bell and Pivot were dressed alike
Franklin and Goose like things just so…don’t try to assemble anywhere other than where you always do…and get off my lawn
I have filed two complaints with TOC and the esteemed Site Qs:
- There is a glaring lack of rock piles at Flying Circus, this is unacceptable. Especially when the Pile of R.O.U.S.s are inaccessible
- There is a glaring lack of pull up locations at Flying Circus, this is unacceptable. I don’t understand what kids do all day at school. I am now glad that Wake County PS has reassigned my kids to Carpenter Elementary. I bet that school wouldn’t settle for these types of shenanigans