Here’s some maths knowledge for y’all – and why on Earth we would do anything as stupid (completely, utterly…?) as incorporate a Fibonacci sequence into a workout. For those of you who have been at this awhile, you may have experienced the Nautilus, a workout that starts at the center of something and spirals outward. A nautilus is a natural embodiment of the Golden Ratio, a mathematical expression that refers to the ratio of two addends to their sum and each other. Look it up, that’s a thing, this is not typical Beaker BS. Well, the Fibonacci sequence is a mathematical representation of the Golden Ratio. So, Fibonacci = Nautilus = one kick-a$$ workout.
The Warm-up (Beaker’s Beginnings)
Ruckers went off rucking, runners went off running, and the rest of us set off in the gloom to the senior center for:
SSH
Windmills
Willie-Mays Hayes
Sir Fazio Arm Circles
Plank Jacks
Count off by 4s, which was performed flawlessly…but we headed downhill from there.
The Thang (Beaker’s Beatdown)
Part I – The Lamp-post Fibonacci Merkins
I really didn’t expect this to be too difficult. Boy, was I wrong. The next number in the Fibonacci sequence is the sum of the two preceding numbers, starting with 0 and 1. The goal was to perform merkins in the Fibonacci sequence at each lamp-post, starting with the 1. 1,1,2,3,5,8,13,21,34. Seems simple, right. Not for this crew. In the midst of all the harassment I was taking for this clusterQ, Joe Smith kindly invited me to SWW, where he said physical AND intellectual challenges are welcome. Initially, I had this slotted as a Log Base 2 exercise, but that had us at 256 merkins by the end… (I don’t see the problem there – Ma Bell). Anyway, had I known how much of a challenge THIS was, I never would have planned what was next.
Part II – The Lazy Daze Playground Bear Crawlbstacle Course
Remember your number from counting off? Good. One of each number at each of four stations: 10xpull-ups, 20xsquats, 20xbox jumps, and 20 x Aussie pull-ups. Starting at pull-ups, the PAX performs the exercise, then bear crawls to the next station to relieve his team-mate, who then performs the exercise at that station and bear crawls to relieve his team-mate at the next station, etc. While waiting to be relieved, PAX alternate between 30-count superman and 30-count 6″ leg-hold. When the last team-mate reaches the pull-up station, the cycle repeats, and so on and so on until all PAX have hit all stations. It was so beautiful in my mind. Unfortunately, the PAX were paying about as much attention as you expect of 20 dudes at 0605 and it didn’t quite seem like they full grasped the details. Then, Hi-“Chad Slotta”-Liter headed off in the wrong direction and everything else got screwed up 6 ways to Sunday. Penalty was assessed and the whole thing had to be repeated, properly. The PAX paid slightly more attention this time and we made it through. Just enough time to mosey back to the kiosk-adjacent hill for 3 rounds of low-plank hold and sprint up the hill. 3rd time was a charm to Forrest Gump and “Just keep run-ning” all the back to COT.
The COT (Beaker’s Benediction)
Count-o-rama: 34
Announcements – all outdated at this point
Prayers – not outdated
Grease Monkey’s mom
Swag’s and Hi-Liter’s fathers
Cardiac’s (Churham) friends who lost their 3-year old
YHC took us out.