OK, this is getting strange. I don’t Q that often, but the last 4 out of 5, there has been some sort of Carpex 2nd F late nite event the night before my Q (just to be clear, late is def past 10:30 for me). Last night was no exception. After work I get couple texts from some of the Carpex boys, “You want to go see a movie”? 7 p,m. start. Sounded good to me. The movie is at Southpoint, a nice family mall. I wonder what we are going to see, as I haven’t been to a movie in ages. Would it be the new Spiderman! No, I find out we are going to see a Grateful Dead concert…..at the movie theater. So we park in the designated meeting spot in the lot, and it’s a full on tailgate. Dudes swigging beers in the Southpoint lot like they’re at Walnut Creek. Tailgating for a movie—-sheesh!
We go in and there is a full bar in the theater; like a full bar. All the hippies there for the Grateful Dead show are bellied up at the bar with arms full of as many drinks as they can carry, while all the nice families there are buying giant sodas, Whoppers, and Swedish Fish. I’m overwhelmed already.
So we make our way to theater #14, which is not coincidentally all the way at the far end in order to keep the hippies as far away as possible from the other nice families. Opening the door to theater #14 was something else—–like walking into a club off Haight-Ashbury in the 1960s: a purple haze of smoke escaped the door, bug-eyed people wearing hemp clothing of all kinds, and nappy dreadlocks for dayz.
Fast forward a couple hours to the encore of Sugar Magnolia, and theater is a raging dance floor with one dude in the middle of it all; right there in front of the movie screen: dude is wearing an old ragged Wake Forest tie-dye shirt, doing some kind of hippie dance spinning in circles with his palms up, face up to the ceiling. Holy smokes, it was Riptide!!! It was embarrassingly beautiful. I hustle down there and ask why he is spinning in circles and why is he staring at the ceiling? He mumbled something about seeing dancing elephants, dancing bears, and dancing pelts. So I let him be and headed out to the bar until the movie was over.
Crap, I gotta Q tomorrow.
Now I’ve only been to Gran Turdino once before; over a year ago. Why would I go there when the World Famous Danger Zone is right across the street from my house! Anyhoo, I pulled up to the Shovel Flag with a minute to spare (according to the PAX, as I didn’t even have a watch). Just to be clear, I still reeked of Patchouli and expensive-cheap popcorn. And my breath still had the stench of the heady grill cheese I purchased from the hippiest of hippies in the Southpoint parking lot after the movie.
It was at that time that I find out GT has 3 Site Qs (Biner, Hi-Liter, and LargeMouth) for this High-Tempo bootcamp. “Why do yall need 3 Site Qs”?, I ask. Torpedo said it was because GT was more High Maintenance than High Tempo. My man!
I stumbled through some kind of introduction and maybe a disclaimer to the 12 bootcampers and 4 ruckers. Biner was seriously not impressed. So we take off running and I realize I forgot the Pledge, so we double back around the Pickle and stop at the Shovel Flag and perform some GMs, Merkins, MCs, and PJs…….all in perfect cadence. Then we take off running again—–sheez, forgot the Pledge. Biner is moderately pissed. We painted some lines and performed some Invisible Jump Rope before returning to our high tempo run to the end of the lot, cross the street, jog the Cary Tennis Center lot. Partner up for couple sets of: run opposite directions around lot, meet for x 5 Booyah Merkins, then run back for x 5 Bobby Hurleys. Leave the lot for another high tempo run back over to the park…..except everyone is slow BRR jogging and chatting way behind me. Squatter tells me lots of them did some EC run and “we are tired”. WTH?
Jog to first field for some LBCs, but LargeMouth said “that is not a good idea”. He said it was too wet and the PAX didn’t want to get their shirts wet. So the PAX, at low tempo speed, finally found some semi-dry ground on the paved trail. After that we tried some Ride The Wave on the mini hill, but as I looked behind me….I was the only one doing it. Denali was saying he wasn’t getting his shoes wet, and “these aren’t even my good running shoes”. LemmeTellYa, two pair of Denali’s shoes and his calf-sleevy thingys cost more than my car, so I get it. So we jog to the 3rd field and I try another Ride The Wave–about 1/2 way, I step ankle deep in water and mud, and again notice nobody else is running the hill. Ok, so it was a really bad idea. LargeMouth: “I told you”. Biner was extremely pissed.
From there, Catch-Me-If-You-Can with x 5 HRM all the way to and around the world famous GT racing circle. Love that circle, as it’s about 250-275 meters in distance and there is some slight elevation on one side. After that, grab the two water bottles I stashed at the GT Racing Circle. Instructions to get a mouth full of water and run around the circle at a good high-tempo clip. This will force only nose breathing and is a great training technique for any sport and particularly good for training for higher altitudes in a low altitude setting: more oxygen delivered to active muscles and boosting red blood cell counts (AKA legal blood doping)—great for BRR training. And probably the best advantage: squelches MumbleChatter. When you finish your run, spit the water out so the PAX can confirm success. Do this again running the other way around GT Racing Cirlce.
After that, I call for a squat hold to recover and kind of recapture The 6. Pissed-off Biner declares “we don’t do squat holds here!” Then he starts doing these strange mini hops with his knees locked—like he’s on some kind of tiny pogo stick. I’m thinking to myself, “WTF is that?”, except I said it out loud. LargeMouth gives me the look to not question and for the fourth time during the workout tells me “that’s not a good idea”. Whatever LargeMouth.
Flip Flop: Biner, what the f*%# is that?
Biner: These are called Biner Hops. This is our recovery exercise at GT. No ten counts either!
Flip Flop: Well OK then.
Groups of 4 Native American Run to the school mini amphitheater. Partner 1 Racoon Crawl, Parter 2 AMRAP dips. 2 sets.
Run to the top of paved hill and I call a squat hold again. Biner is spitting mad, like red-faced mad. So we transition into Biner Hops, and Biner seems mildly satisfied…….until I call a transition from the Biner Hops into Invisible Jump Rope. LargeMouth: “that’s not a good idea”.
From the top of the hill, we perform the Lollipop Of Death with a partner: Bropees x 5 on one side and something else on the other side. I have no watch, but it feels like we need to go back to the Shovel Flag and I need to get home ASAP, as I’m sure to be never welcome back to GT again.
Lastly, we ran about 75% effort for 50 yards, then full sprint about 50 yds to the Shovel Flag. The ruckers were back and we all did a couple Mary exercises. Finally, Have A Nice Day, but Biner says we still have 45 seconds. Something was muttered by Hi-Liter about something called a side plank star crunch thing—–I’m certain this isn’t in the Exicon….and neither are the Biner Hops. I stalled with conversation just long enough to avoid those aforementioned ‘exercises’ and called Have A Nice Day again.
Count-a-rama: 16
Name-a-rama: buncha mehs and a few respecks
Announcements: TCP Sawgrass this Sunday—get out there with your brothers and help with yard work. Other announcements were made, but my mind had drifted back to the vision of Riptide skipping around the theater singing Sunshine Daydream.
Prayers: YHC co-worker’s father passed away yesterday.
COT: YHC took us out
Nekkid Mole Skin:
* Basically see above verbiage for any Nekkid Mole Skin
* I have no watch, so unsure if we hit the required mileage
* I did attend Coffeeteria with the GT boys, who obviously have banker’s hours, nobody in any rush to leave Starbucks at 7:15!!!
* After the workout, all the GT site Qs change into their GT shirts, which are freakin awesome! Thought I’d get one for being the QIC, kinda like the FMJ koozies, but they immediately declined my request. LargeMouth, “that’s not a good idea”.
* Chanticleer bought my coffee…..I think he felt bad for me.
* GT guys made fun of the size of my wallet (it’s kinda big), and I was informed that fanny packs are making a comeback.
* Lastly, and most important, I’m so thankful and proud to be a part of this group. I even love Biner.
luvyou,
Flip Flop
Thank god you weren’t at DZ. AGAIN.