“Hey Cally, did you see that rainbow?” (x 12)

Beautiful morning for a workout, eh? Six men showed up for a quick 2.25 mile EC run around parts of Cary I’ve never seen before. Back at the parking lot with plenty of time, the rest of the PAX started pouring in one after the other. All in all, a total of 25 men showed up in the gloom to push themselves and their brothers to put in some hard work. Let’s just hope the Q has a plan, amirite?

YHC had a plan. But sometimes I make things too complicated for my audience, and it showed today. The PAX stood around with dumb looks on their faces on multiple occasions. Keep up, fellas. This ain’t hard.

The one thing YHC didn’t factor in was the little fun run we did prior to the beatdown, draining about 40% of my energy before we even got started. Rookie move (which is not good, b/c supposedly I’m a vet).

WARM UP

Circle up for SSH, count-o-rama (not a warm up, per se, but this is what happened after SSH), Good morning, jog over to the soccer pitch (lol), Imperial Squat Walkers, Merkins

THE THANG

Partner up. P1 sprints to the opposite end of the field, does 5 Burpees, then People’s Chair on the fence. P2 does People’s Chair on the fence whilst P1 runs and does burpees, then he sprints to the other end and does 5 burpees. This is the cycle that we’ll repeat while we inflate these dadgum BLIMPS.

Inflating BLIMPS:

Burpees x 5

Burpees x 5, LungeJumps x 10

Burpees x 5, LungeJumps x 10, Imperial Walkers x 15

Burpees x 5, LungeJumps x 10, Imperial Walkers x 15, Merkins x 20

Burpees x 5, LungeJumps x 10, Imperial Walkers x 15, Merkins x 20, Plankjacks x 25

Burpees x 5, LungeJumps x 10, Imperial Walkers x 15, Merkins x 20, Plankjacks x 25, Star Jumps x 30

For giggles, I had the guys switch between People’s Chair and BTTW if the spirit moved them to do so. Not too many takers on that one.

Once our BLIMPS were properly inflated, P1 does BTTW while P2 sprints to midfield and back. Flapjack.

Then, P1 does BTTW while P2 Bear Crawls to 18-yard line and back. Flapjack.

Next, P1 does a Squat Hold while P2 sprints to midfield and back. Flapjack.

With oxygen failing to make it to YHC’s brain, it was time to call an audible. Jog over to the shelter and find your partner again. P1 does 10 pull-ups while P2 planks. Flapjack. Then P1 does 20 dips while P2 planks. Flapjack. Then 8 pull-ups. Flapjack. 16 Dips. Flapjack. 6 pull-ups. Flapjack. 12 Dips. Flapjack. 4 pull-ups. Flapjack. 8 dips. Flapjack. 2 pull-ups. Flapjack. 4 dips. Flapjack. Time check…6:26? Nice. Jog over to the basketball courts for…

MARY

American Hammer x 25, in cadence.

Hey Dolly (Sup guuurl) x 13ish, in cadence. YHC had to pull the plug on Dolly cuz my dude Largemouth was bombing with the pickup lines. Gotta know when to cut your losses and move along.

Ç’est fini!

COT

Count-o-rama: 25 stanky stallions

Name-o-rama: Still 25. 6 RESPECTs, 1 hate, 18 meh, including one FNG (Welcome Jamie/Repeato!)

Announcements: Next Monday 5/15 at 7:00PM at Bond Brothers, come out and meet/support the pastor that Khakis worked with in India. The man is doing some great work. Let’s shower him with love and encouragement and support and glitter. Well, maybe not glitter. But the rest of it, yeah, let’s do that.

Prayer requests: Khakis over the next week while hosting this pastor from India, Robert (friend of Open Out), his dad suffered a stroke recently. Prayers for a quick and full recovery!

NMS

• Wow. What a gorgeous morning. That sunrise was something else! With a rainbow to boot!
• Welcome to the newest member of F3 – Repeato! Welcome to the newest member of F3 – Repeato! Welcome to the newest member of F3 – Repeato! Welcome to the newest member of F3 – Repeato! Welcome to the newes…..
• See what I did there?
• Sorry, Repeato. The creativity was not strong in the PAX this morning. I feel like we should have been able to do better than we did. But, it’s up to you to make the most of it. And like most of these crazy nicknames, this one, too, will grow on the PAX and we’ll learn to love it.
• I still love learning how guys get their names. Just this morning I got to hear Pet Sounds story of how he got his name.
• Pet Sounds, “You know, after the Beach Boys album.”
• Me, “Who?”
• Pet Sounds, “I’m gunna…argh…you better…
• Me, “…”
• Pet Sounds, “I hate you.”
• Kidding aside, of course I know who the Beach Boys are. They are the guys who wrote four different songs, then just rearranged parts of those 4 songs to create another 75 songs. Brilliant move. That’s probably the least amount of work ever put forth in order to make as much money as those doofuses made.
• My all-time most hated Beach Boys song? Their “Merry Christmas St. Nick” song from their Christmas album. Makes me want to murder a puppy every time I hear it. That’s why I’m forced to stay away from puppies any time after October 1st in any given year.
• Full grown dogs are safe. It’s just the puppies that draw my ire. Not really sure what the deal is with that.
• My sister calls it “Cute Aggression”. It’s the same thing that makes crazy Aunts want to bite your baby. Its the this-baby-is-so-cute-I-want-to-squeeze-it-until-its-eyes-pop-out thing.
• You know what I’m talking about. Don’t act like you don’t. You’re only making yourself look stupid.
• (We referred my sister to a therapist, so don’t worry.)
• She’s single.
• Anyway…
• This got really off track. Even for me, this is pretty bad.
• I don’t know if they knew it, but Term Paper and Ma Bell were my partners this morning since we had an odd number. Figured I would try to even out the average age a little.
• Plus Ma Bell couldn’t see TP all the way at the other end of the soccer field and needed a young pair of eyes to help out.
• Nature Boy is deceptively fast. I wish he would try that hard every time!
• BOOOOM!!!
• Sorry NB. I’m an idiot.
• No joke, I had at least 8 different guys point out the rainbow to me this morning. Yeah guys, I saw it. It’s sorta hard to miss.
• Big shout to Wilber for killing the Patriot 5K this year. According to him, he was 4 minutes heavier last year.
• That last line was brilliant. Wilber is sneaky funny y’all.
• Despite the haphazard nature of this Q, I still almost got the new guy to spill merlot. So close!!
• Riptide.
• Just because.
• Largemouth, to Dolly: “Good evening, young lady. Could I interest you in a mint julep? How about an oyster dinner? Mwahaha, you know what they say about the aphrodisiatic nature of oysters don’t you? No? You wish to no longer speak to me? Oh, okay, well I appreciate your time. Have a good evening, and I wish you success in all your future dating ventures. You’ll make someone very happy someday. So long…”
• Did I just make up a new term for the sake of a Largemouth/Dolly joke? You bet your booty I did.
• “Aphrodisiatic”. That’s a new level of strange right there.
• I mean, anytime you can make “Aphrodisiac” an adjective, you gotta do it.
• I struggled to remember all 25 guys when writing this up. I racked my brain for an hour straight before the last guy finally came to mind!
• And before you scramble to the top to see who I forgot, I already rearranged the names randomly so you’ll never know.
• One thing I can tell you is that it was most definitely NOT Lulu who I forgot.
• He’s at the end of the list, but that doesn’t mean it was him!
• Haha, how could you forget about Lulu, right?
• Definitely remembered Lulu.
• …
• ..
• .
• It was Lulu 🙁
• See you in the gloom!

Callahan