The Notorious K.I.M

YHC rolled up to Carpex’s AO known as Point Break, with 2 minutes to spare, to see 20 men raring to go. There were about 4-5 dudes in full sweat from the pre-run. Also, thrilled to see CarpEXers Khakis and Peeping Tom. Then I couldn’t believe my eyes………standing there like fishes-out-of-water…….3 Raleigh punks……and 1 SouthWake punk S’Midget For Life. I friggin’ hate those guys!!!—sorta.

After botching yet another disclaimer, we were off for a short jog to the backside of Cinebistro for some warm-ups of: Invisible Jump Rope, Sir Fazios –> GM –> Phleps, Merkins –> MC, AirForceOnes, and Saturday Nite Stretch. All the aforementioned were performed in perfect cadence by YHC. It was obvious that Yoda hasn’t performed a Saturday Nite Stretch in quite some time; very awkward indeed.
It should also be mentioned that during the warm-up exercises was the first time YHC noticed we had a coupla Chippendales in the group. Seriously, Yoda and ScreenTime Lil’ Kim weren’t wearing shirts——proudly flaunting their biceps and triceps, which were chiseled………out of soft butter.

We jogged up to the front parking lot at Whole Foods.
Thang 1: Partner Up. Parking 1 sprints 75% up to the top of the lot and back. Partner 2 is performing alternating AFAP x 10 SSH and x 10 PJs. Flip flop for 3 sets.
Once complete, and whilst squat holding, YHC explained that this particular Whole Foods was in part built with YHC’s paycheck, which YHCs M takes said paycheck to spend at Whole Foods for a whopping 1.5 bags of groceries. smh.
It was at this point that YHC stated to the PAX that he would have more money for sick MudGear workout clothing if in fact all his $$$ wasn’t going to WholeFoods. It was right then-and-there that YHC realized that ScreenTime Lil’ Kim was wearing the kind of ‘sweet’ workout clothing YHC was referring to. I mean, who wouldn’t want to be donning the gear that ScreenTime Lil’ Kim had on? Yes he was a shirtless Chippendale, but he was wearing…….and I’m not kidding……full length thick winterstyle leggin’ tights, as well as this man purse thing he wears around his puny bicep to hold his archaic IPod III with bad songs he obviously downloaded from LimeWire. ScreenTime’s Lil’ Kim’s saving grace was that he was wearing an Atlanta Falcons hat and Georgia Bulldogs shorts (over his winter tights), and everybody knows YHC loves some Falcons and Bulldogs.

Jogged over to the bank.
Thang 2: Agility City. Partner 1 bobs-and-weaves through the pylons and continues running around the bank. Partner 2 is performing agility line exercises: tandem, side-to-side, and M.C. Hammers. We go through 3 sets and then then a plank series and then squat hold.
**** Of note, it was sadly obvious that Drysdale from Raleigh has zero agility, coordination, or rhythm. Looking like Elaine from Seinfeld. He needs me to take him, as a free intervention from YHC, to some of my favorite Raleigh discotheques, so Drizzy Drysdale can learn some skills.
**** Additionally, whilst the PAX in squat hold, YHC praised Snip on his recent Kryptonite Q, but more importantly on his fine Backblast. This is when YHC realized the poor Raleigh dudes didn’t know what a BackBlast was. In fact, while attempting to explain to the poor Raleigh dudes what a BackBlast is and the benefits of a BackBlast, they blankly stared at me…….kinda like when I try to explain a rotary phone to my kids. oh well.

Jog over to the side of Shake Shack. PAX instructed to get in the 50-50 grind position on the rails. One PAX member bear crawls the tunnel, followed by the next, etc. When complete, we all jog to the grassy knoll in front of the Waverly Fountain of Youth. This is where we did a couple rounds of dips, Derkins, and Freddie Mercs.

Thang 3: Partner up. Run in the opposite direction from the grassy knoll, up the stairs, and around to the Waverly Overlook. When you meet up perform x 15 Sumo Squat Jumps. Continue running back to the grassy knoll for x 20 LBCs. Flip flop for 3 sets, and avoid the one pile of dog shit on the grassy knoll.
When complete, perform chilcut, chilcut Shakiras on each side.
Then walk to the fountain for the next exercise: Bobbing for Apples. I think a few guys actually dunked their head in, while other guys were googling the Exicon to see if it was a real F3 exercise.

Jog up to the lot in front of Shake Shack. Agility with painting the lines forward and sideslides. Jog to the top lot at Cinebistro. Billy Run to the Shovel Flag.
Raleigh guys: “Shovel Flag”?
YHC: “It’s that shovel with an American Flag on it. It’s suppose to be planted at the AO during the workouts”.
Raleigh guys: blank stares.

COT:
Count-a-Rama: 21
Name-a-Rama: buncha mehs and a few Respects.
Announcements: Yoda announced the following, which I copy-and-pasted from Rooney on Slack:
Here’s a Call to Action. As mentioned in COTs recently by our Raleigh brethren Yoda and Drysdale, the racial injustices in the world have plagued us for far too long. As men (especially white men) and leaders in the community, we need to respond. Here is a great opportunity for action: Raleigh’s Neighbor2Neighbor has organized two events through the Racial Equity Institute (REI). Below are the links. Consider signing up. Let’s use this learning to springboard action in Carpex.
August 28-29:
https://support.n2noutreach.org/event/REI-August-2020/e291040
September 11-12:
https://support.n2noutreach.org/rei2020september

Praises: Sour Mash 25th (?) wedding anniversary.
Prayers: per Chipper; pray for Sherry’s husband who was killed in a motorcycle accident.

Nekkid Mole Skin:
* Well, most of the NMS is sprinkled throughout this BB.
* YHC also discussed leading through Breaking Points in life.
* After the workout, I get a text from S’Midget For Life: “My watch is saying ‘move’ you missed a workout”. This was kinda funny, but actually could be true. I’ve never seen anyone not perform as many called exercises as MFL. I think he gets weaker when he goes to ‘workout’.
* OK, for those that don’t know, ScreenTime hard committed to going to a specific Raleigh workout about 2 months ago, but he didn’t show up. His punishment was to be called Lil’ Kim for a month. But when I got the F3 Raleigh email newsletter yesterday, it stated that ScreenTime is to be called Lil’ Kim for July as well. Lemme tell ya, when I referred to him as Lil’ Kim, he only had a semi-smile and small head nod. It was quite obvious that he does not like to be called Lil’ Kim, and he was not pleased at all that this will be going on for another month…..at least another month. Bhahahaha!!!!!

’twas a pleasure.
luvyou, Flip Flop