Tabata Tango

To celebrate the 420 holiday, I decided to forget it was 420 and not incorporate it into my Q. Darnit, missed opportunity. Instead, I laid out an ambitious plan to traverse the DZ soccer fields in a modified 4-corners, tabata style. But alas, the Town of Cary department of parks and recreation had other plans when they launched the sprinkler system to aptly moisten the pitch. You can imagine my dismay when I showed up nice and early for setup, fully equipped with cones and headlamp (more on that later). After a brief reenactment of Charlton Heston’s “damn you, damn you all to hell” scene from Planet of the Apes, I adjusted and condensed the setup to fit in the parking lot.

Luckily I have experience with this sort of thing (anyone remember the rainstorms that resulted in a football themed Q in the Wolverine parking lot?)

Enough pomp and circumstance, let’s get to it. As I had promised a limited run Q, we naturally started by running the pickle, followed by a quick warmup session to limber up our ol’ bones.

Warmup: Good morning, Hillbilly, Frankenstein/Tin Soldier/or whatever the heck you want to call it, Plank Jacks

What the heck, let’s run the pickle again. This time, we stumbled upon a set of masterfully arranged cones. Your instructions: this is a tabata workout, sans music (who knew you were supposed to play Q and DJ AT THE SAME TIME???) This would be a high intensity workout with 30-second-ish bursts, followed by 10-second recovery. You know, like sex. Except with multiple repeatos, instead of rolling over and going to sleep. (notice “repeato” is not capitalized, out of all due respect for a certain PAX named Repeato).

Let’s do this:

• Tempo Merkins
• Squat Jumps
• Low Plank Jacks
• Squat Jumps
• Merkins
• Burpees
• Air Chair (a crowd favorite)
• Hand Release Merkins
• Burpees
• High Intensity Plank Series (complete with the famous ‘Reach Around’)
• High speed Squat Series (2-leg, 80/20 R/L)

Wow, that was really fun. Let’s do it again. But faster. And instead of endless burpees, let’s do a partner carry around the top of the pickle. Pro tip: brace yourself before Ford goes for the mount…

Great work gents, now let’s make like a bunch of 8yo soccer players and pick up the cones for the coach. Anyone returning to the flag without a cone must endure the Q’s wrath. Oh, whoops, the Q didn’t have a cone so scratch that whole “Q’s wrath” thing.

Circle up and let’s get outta here.

Count-a-rama: 13
Name-a-rama (I feel like a schmuck…can only name 12 of the 13. I owe a beer to SPUTNIK! )
Announcements: Burt invited us all to play mini-golf and toss cornhole, all for a couple of good causes. See Slack. I’m looking for a cornhole teammate. Pierogi announced something. I have no idea what it was.
Praise ‘n Prayers: Saban’s daughter and some lingering issues from broken elbows, prayers for pain relief; 2 of Pierogi’s co-workers dealing with illnesses; Loom’s daughter and her battles with depression; Hi-Liter and his dad.

NMS:

• It is always a blast leading you guys. Anytime one of you who will remain nameless (Burt) nearly makes me spill merlot during AMRAP merkins by paying homage to a certain wolf tattoo…
• Headlamps work best in the dark
• Thanks Angry Elf for the partner carry suggestion. Love you bro.