Told Y’all There’d Be Hills

Preamble

Thought I never actually saw it there, I swear Build-A-Bear had put me on the Q sheet for 3/8. But there I was scheduled for 3/1. One of y’all mophos is playing some shenanigans. But you got to get up mighty early in the morning to fool Ma Bell! Play your little games. As YHC enjoyed a refreshing beverage and a cigar, I formulated a plan. A plan that involved hills. Even preblasted it to weed out the weak. What resulted was a record number of PAX in the history of Wolverine. And the strongest and best group of PAX ever assembled in the history of F3. Get at me.

Warm-Up

Jog – at a Saban-led 8:00 min/mile pace (yo, simmer down Michael) – across Davis and down the Park Village Dr. hill to the intersection by the playground for the following:

• Side Strad…Car! Move to the side and resume…Car! for the love of…audible over to an adjacent cul-de-sac
• Finish up the SSH
• Steve Earls
• Standard Merkins
• Mountain Climbers (a portend of things to come?)

The Thang(s)

Mosey over to the base of Trent Woods Way to begin a set of modified B.O.M.B.S. Run up the hill and back around Old Dock Trail and Park Village Dr. to the base and do 10 Burpees

• Repeato but this time do 10 O/H claps
• Repeato with 30 Merkins
• Repeato with 40 Big Boy Situps
• Repeato with 50 Side Plank Star Crunches

That sucked. Make our way back up the Park Village Dr. hill stopping along the way for 20 counts of Squats, Star Jumps, Hand Release Merkins and some other shit stuff I can’t remember until we got to the flag

Mary

Finished er off with a rousing round of Box Cutters, Low Slow Flutters, and American Hammers

COT

• Count-a-Rama: 14
• Name-a-Rama: 5 RESPECT, 9 Mehs, 0 Hates
• Announcements/Praises: Term Pappy is expecting to become a grandfather for the 3rd time. Ollie is expecting to become a father for the first time with his M. He’s about the proudest expecting Dad I’ve ever seen.
• Prayers – HG’s friend Buck, YHC’s FIL

NMS

• I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that AFTER COT, while we’re all standing around talking, Callahan comes strolling up all sweaty claiming to have been there the whole time. And then he changed his story that he was a minute late and couldn’t find us. I mean YHC announced hills. And anyone who’s been to FMJ knows what that means. So I ain’t buying it. Come on, bruh
• I will admit that I almost spilled merlot after that 4th trip up the hill. That hill is no joke. I’ve run it before many times and knew how tough it was. But I don’t know that I’ve run it 5x in a row before.
• We got around 380′ of elevation. Not bad for the darkest and flattest AO in Carpex. Hell, that’s not bad for El Cap!
• Loom is a HC for the BRR thanks to Franklin’s EH skillz. Right, Loom?
• I think we only had 5 of the Wolverine PAX make it for coffeeteeria. But with the addition of the Measure Twice crew, a good time was had by all
• Biner was an HC on group text Sunday night but a no-show on Monday morning. Sad.
• To whomever changed my name on the Q sheet, I thumb my nose at thee
• As always it was an honor to lead you men. Thanks for answering the call and coming out to work!