Punctuality is a key part of our culture here within F3 CARPEx. Case in point, we start on time, we end on time and we even have an official Region timekeeper: Saban. I am not aware of any other Regions that take punctuality so seriously. Even when Saban is not around, if a workout goes long, inevitably someone will mention Saban being unhappy. Suffice it to say, “Don’t be late” might as well be our subheader.
Aside: I fell asleep in the first quarter of the ‘Bama vs OSU game. Yes, lots of scoring and what not but come on… do we need another Saban National Championship?
In fact, punctuality is so important that we go out of our way to penalize it should it happen. Penalty burpees, penalty merkins. Hell, I even saw Riptide purposefully take the PAX into the bushes to make sure the tardy PAX knew that the QIC was displeased.
Where is all this heading, you might ask.
Good question. I’d be happy to share. But first, a quiz:
When your carpool buddy says “Leave at 5:10”, you:
a) have your shoes on and are by the front door at 5:07
b) have your shoes on and are by the front door at 5:08
c) have your shoes on and are by the front door at 5:09
d) have your shoes on and are by the front door at 5:10
Answer? All of the above!
Guess what is not a right answer? 5:12. 5:12 is definitely the wrong answer.
Why? Because of all of the above mentioned bits. The culture. The abuse. The humiliation. If you want to be late to a workout, drive out to Raleigh. They are still organizing the Warm-up circle five minutes after scheduled start time. Or Churham, where you might as well just show up whenever you wish. They’ll still be circled up since everyone knows Churham Does. Not. Run.
But don’t do it in CARPEx.
And especially don’t do it if one of you is the QIC. Being late to an AO is a sin. Being late when you are the QIC is a Cardinal Sin. It’s unforgivable. Seriously. You guys remember Speed Racer? Yup… he hasn’t been back since that one time when he was late to his Q. Burt chewed him out so badly, even Ollie felt sorry for him. And Ollie doesn’t feel sorry for anyone. Especially you. Yeah… you!
So imagine my concern when, come 5:09, it looks like the Night Before Christmas over at the Flip Flop house. All the lights are off and not even the mice that live under his front porch are stirring. Text message goes unanswered and so did the blood curdling scream I let out in the cul de sac. No response. Knowing that my neighbor is usually a punctual sort, I decide to give him the benefit of the doubt and wait a bit while I pulled up the perfect songs to keep my company for the 20 minute drive to Koka Booth. A mixture of Dolly and Flock of Seagulls sounded perfect about that time of morn.
But several minutes later and still no sign of the Singular One.
Five short horn blasts and a looooooooong one later, and the lights start coming on. Unfortunately they are all at the wrong neighbor’s houses. Hoping to EH those fools at some point still, I decide it’s time to go.
“I better not be late FF or you’ll pay”, I dictate to Siri as I peel out up the driveway.
“Do you want to pay fifty dollars to Nate?” asks Siri unhelpfully in reply.
Somewhere by the Wade and I-40 split I finally had Liverpool’s (the city, not the three-time HOTY runner up) seventh most famous band on the radio. After Frankie Goes to Hollywood, Gerry and the Pacemakers, Echo and the Bunnymen, Elvis Costello, OMD and (coming in at #1) Dead or Alive, of course. Seriously. They had seven single chart in the top 10 on the US Dance charts. The Beatles never did that shit.
The rest of the drive was a combination of cursing and seething as I flew down the highway trying to get to Koka Booth on time. Seething in the intense anger sense, not the wildly gyrating mass of people sense. Duh. I was frankly hoping for a speeding ticket so I could have something else to hang on the Floppest of all Singulars (I think I did that right).
Luckily for the PAX, by the time I made it, I was back to my fun loving self. With 90 seconds of chitchat to spare, I caught up with Denali and Snip and watched the EC runners come back.
Just on time.
Like we do it in CARPEx.
Workout related things:
We did some things.
We also did 5 penalty burpees because Flip Flop was 3 seconds late. 5:30.03 is l-a-t-e.
COT:
- 11
- Announcements: none that I remember
- Prayers: pandemic affects on jobs amongst the PAX. Kirk.
NMS:
- Flip Flop did his burpees in impeccable form. Far be it for me to hold that against him.
- Fun time with the PAX this morning. Really do appreciate the good times that I have with the CARPEx PAX.
- As long as they show up that is.
Ha — enjoyed this thanks.
OMG!