The idea for this Q came from my curiosity on whether there is actually a definition of being a cougar. Reliable, first-page Google hits assure that there is, indeed. The possibility of being a cougar begins at 40 years old, with a typical 10 year gap, thus making the average cub a barely-escaped hate at 30 (coincidentally also YHC’s age). Less than 2% of US relationships meet this definition, so if you, gentle reader, are one of them, you are one of the few, the proud, the cradle-graved.
Possibly 40 years old is the cutoff for cougarhood because the cougar, scientific name Puma concolor, holds the Guinness world record for most names, with 40+ names in English alone for the same creature in the books, including catamount, cougar, mountain lion, panther, and the very athleisurely puma. Another interesting factoid is that cougar attacks, while rare, are on the rise as more and more people move into cougar territory…likewise, we can anticipate a similar growth trajectory for Carpex’s newest AO.
Trivia aside, moving on.
Warm up
- Dropped-my-pencil’s x5 (NEW! Just for Cougar Town, a 3-count down toe touch, 1-count stand back up and thrust your chest out proud. We missed Crimson on this one.)
- Rockettes (hillbillies with a kick), IC x10 each side
- Twerkin (like a downwards dog + merkin), IC x8
A little mosey.
Thang 1 – Painting 30 parking spots
According to the research, agility and compliance with pointless orders and chores are two of the qualities a cougar covets most in a mate. So I tried to think of an exercise that would let the Pax build up their cub-potential and earn their spots.
At a parking spot:
- Hot feet run up the line, Paula Abdul-style
- Burpee
- Diagonal backwards run to the next spot
Repeato x30 down the parking lot.
Mosey to the baseball field.
Thang 2 – 40 corners
Keeping up with a cougar is more of an endurance sport, so doing a standard 10-count 4 corners just doesn’t seem right.
- 1st base: 40 Squats
- 2nd base: 40 Shoulder Taps
- 3rd base: 40 Bonnie Blairs…a great idea after the squats.
- Home: 40 Merkins…an even greater idea after the taps.
Of note: everyone hits a home run at Cougar Town.
Thang 3 – 70s
Maybe adding the typical ages for cougar (40) and cub (30) equal 70…maybe the cougar just is 70. Either way, 7’s raised up a power can only make for a better workout, right?
Still at the baseball field:
- Home plate: Monkey Humpers
- Fence at the outfield: Moroccan Nightclubs
Bonus: Thang 4
The Pax were so fleet on their feet, we had time for a bonus round at the playground:
- 10 pull-ups
- 10 dips
Repeato.
Mosey back to flag
Mary
- H2M IC x20
- A-Rod’s IC x10
- Runner’s stretch
COT
- Off-the-record races going on at ATT this weekend.
- Freed-to-bleed sign up for May 1st slots, plenty still open, at the YMCA.
- Prayers for Red Ryder’s mother and 16’s friend Jill’s son, who are both awaiting test results. Hoping for good news, clear procedures, and recovery moving forward.
Extra credit
In a somewhat transparent attempt to siphon off numbers from one of Carpex’s finest and most problematic AOs, YHC called for an EC run launching from DTP at 0500, with the return jaunt bringing us back in time for coffeeteria with our favorite Disturbers of the Peace. See the route we took there (~2.5mi) and back (~0.8mi). Believe it or not, this was YHC’s first EC run…have previously only done EC workouts.
Closing Salutations
Great group of HIMs out there today. Thank you for pushing me, and it was a privilege to lead the workout. Next time we crash an F45 popup, we might have to be fighting off them cougars. MIAGD!
Great Q and great backblast, CO. I really enjoyed the workout even if it didn’t sound like it at the time. Looking forward to seeing you Friday at DP!