Some call it a shield lock. When a group of HIMs connect and strengthen their relationships through accountability, both in F3 and in life, and push each other to be stronger and better in all phases – physical, mental, social and emotional – again, in F3 and in life. Sometimes these shield locks form as a result of F3 and its ability to bring like-minded, positive HIMs together that want to be pushed and held accountable. Other times, shield locks were formed long before F3, like birth (ew, I’ve always thought that word sounded gross).
So when Hamm, Short Circuit, Chicken Little, Henny Penny, Lucky Charms and myself all began F3, it was easy for us to instantly began checking in daily, asking what workouts we were headed to next, where the best coffeeteria was and commiserating in how much we all love Turkish get-ups and burpees. We traveled to AOs together. Drank coffee together daily. Started drinking even more beer together than we did before. And most importantly, supported each other outside of F3 more than we did before. So when another PAX coined us the “Boy Band” one day, we embraced it. Hell, we already had the sick dance moves and beautiful hair (disregard the fact that 33% of the Boy Band is bald). F3 has definitely strengthened us as individuals, but as a group, the Boy Band is stronger than it’s ever been. For that, thank you Carpex.
As perfect as the Boy Band may seem, we have our flaws. We’ve only had a few riffs here and there regarding who the front man is and we may never get to the bottom of that discussion, but what we know we have to get better at is our travel within the region. We have a knack for posting strictly in the POGL (Peak of Good Living) – it did top Money Magazine’s best places to live most recently and even the Mayor of Apex himself (Red Velvet) has posted at an Apex AO. We love Apex, but there is more to Carpex than Apex. We needed a tour, to see other sites, other HIMs and experience more of what makes Carpex the finest region in all of F3 nation (but yes, a little weird). So, a Boy Band Tour was in order (thanks for the idea Shutty).
Here’s what went down throughout the week:
Monday: Wolverine – Henny Penny Q
A little rain and cold temps kept a lot of HIMs in bed, but not the Boy Band with its first tour stop. As PAX rolled in and were trying to stay warm ahead of the workout, Burt in fine form pulls in, windows down, blaring what must’ve been a compact disc of his favorite album, No Strings Attached – NSYNC and the classic hit, Bye Bye Bye. What more do you need at 0530 to get fully jacked up for a workout?
The Commish, no wait, Callahan joined us in the middle of the warm up and then we headed to the stairs, tunnel and bridge for 7’s. We jump squatted, did some Bonnie Blairs and enjoyed dry dips inside the tunnel while waking up half the neighborhood. It was a 12-14 f*%# kind of workout according to Burt. After a wet pickle foray that included merkins in the upper parking lot, we headed back to the tunnel for Mary. That’s where Flip Flop introduced us to the Sexicon’s first exercise – the Boy Band Plank. He swears it was a microphone he was holding in his demonstration.
Coffeeteria at Crema is fantastic! Great coffee and who knew it was the meeting location for the local Tights Club. Loom is a true HIM – brought bananas for all to enjoy and schooled us on the importance of eating before you consume your coffee. Successful first tour stop!
Tuesday: Field of Dreams – 16 Steves Q
Temperatures dropped into the mid-20s, but that didn’t stop some true HIMs from posting (#DBB). While FOD isn’t far from Apex, it was impressive the number of PAX we met for the first time. Took a stroll to the top of the complex for warmup, painted some lines and did quick feet (someone told me to take that crap back to Apex) and headed back down to the frozen rock pile.
We used the ice-covered rocks for some rock-burpees and Jack Webb suicides. Solid form on the Jack Webbs with the use of the “Oooooooh Ooooohs” during the hallelujah portion of the exercise. Colt 45s, Bolt 45s were mixed in with some AMRAP merkin exercises, but the highlight had to be the Hello Dollys. We put ourselves on full display for the kind lady who set up cones for us in the parking lot to bob and weave through. Well, maybe the cones were for the Camp Gladiator-ish workout that happened after us, but whatever – we enjoyed them.
Learned that FOD is an incredible site with a lot to offer. Learned that ice forms on wet roads on 25 degree mornings – whooda thought? Learned that Saturn and Jupiter are forming a conjunction later this month (thank you Pivot). Most importantly, learned a lot of new names and faces – looking forward to posting with you gents again!
Wednesday: Shaken Not Stirred – Hamm Q
We strongly considered running the Maynard on this tour stop being that we are, as some of you know, elite runners. Instead, we landed on Hamm leading a beat down with just a little running for the large group that tends to post at SnS. Temps again were in the mid-20s and it was plain to see that F3 is a large financial contributor to the running tights business. “We’re men, we’re men in tights – tight tights!”
After a short warmup, we learned that 80% of Prodigal’s pace is the equivalent of 130% of the rest of our pace. Played 4 corners for a few rounds and executed perfect form on shoulder-tap merkins (Sherkins), jump squats, Bonnie Blairs and hand-release burpees (yes, you read that right – they suck as bad as they sound). More punishment was in store with crowd pleasers (not sure the crowd was pleased) up and down a hill six times. The fasted Indian Run we’ve ever experienced brought us back to the flag for an angry-Hamm Mary.
SnS has it all – bootcamp, rucking options and of course, the Maynard. The boys in Cary really like to push themselves and we know that future tour stops at this location are in store. Especially if we can get our hands on some of those sexy socks the Beige Bros were rocking.
Thursday: Bradford’s Ordinary – Chicken Little Q
The Boy Band are suckers for Downtown Apex so heading to Downtown Cary for a tour stop was a no-brainer. I must say, that view on Academy St. with all the Christmas trees lit up is pretty dang sweet. Downtown Cary is refined. Classy. Swank. So when Chicken Little showed up rocking a mullet and a puffy vest (nothing underneath other than a tank top) I was worried he might not fit in with these refined gentle-HIMs of Cary.
We shot out of a cannon with a mosey to the fountain for warm up and then headed to the parking deck for a surprise. Bricks, and just enough for 29 HIMs. How many showed up you ask? Exactly 29, incredible foresight on behalf of Chicken Little. Partner work ensued with brick burpees, Dodo birds, merkins and more all to the glorious mix of boy band classics ringing out over the speakers. Only one brick was lost in the melee as Liverpool forgot just how strong he actually was.
It was an extremely emotional COT as Hello Kitty opened up regarding his addiction to boy band music and Burt honored each Boy Band member with a stick of deodorant. Us POGLers felt mighty welcome in imp territory and we met a lot of really great HIMs. Thanks to Pierogi, we even have a picture that just might have to make an appearance on our next album cover. Hey, heeeey-eee!
Friday: Dante’s Peak – Lucky Charms Q
Every major artist tour swings through their hometown, so we had to make a pit stop at one of Carpex’s finest AOs. Even though Lucky Charms has been posting for almost a year, he suffers from a little stage fright and hasn’t yet had a chance to Q. So what better time to lose his Q V-card than Boy Band tour week?
After a brief announcement from Red Ryder, Lucky took us on a stroll to the basketball courts so Steaks could show off his incredible 3-point range in the dark. While there, we expanded the Sexicon with a few already established exercises (Homer to Marge, Pickle Pounders, Pamela Andersons, Hello Dollys, just to name a few). After traveling to frog pond, Lucky punished the PAX with rock work and sprints while Headroom reminded everyone that “rifle carries are like rucking, but with actual sweat.” With arms and shoulders now obliterated, we were punished with more than enough jump squats and Bonnie Blairs on the hill.
It was an impressive pro-VQ from Lucky Charms and even better that it happened with the crew at Dante’s Peak. Coffeeteria at Viscious Fishes is always an incredible experience especially with a Track Star-sky to boot. A great reminder of why the Boy Band are POGL4L!
Saturday: Off the Rails – Short Circuit Q
To round out the tour and complete the six-pack, we decided to go with one of Carpex newest AOs and for the bad boy of the band to take us out. We haven’t had many Saturday posts combined between the entire Boy Band, so the fact that we all made it out to complete the six-pack was a feat in itself. Combine that with the amount of beers and bourbons we put back on Friday night and this was a miracle equivalent to Moses parting the Red Sea.
Short Circuit loves hill work, but with our tired legs, he avoided any and all hills. 17 feet total of elevation climb for the entire workout. Even though the PAX were huge fans of doing SSH and Good Mornings “ALL DAY” Short Circuit sent us on an 11’s frenzy with hand-release Merkins, burpees and prisoner squats. After some balls to the wall with mixed upper body work that followed, we ran to the end of the lot for Monkey Humpers as Das Boot runners jogged by.
Term Paper’s parenting skills were brought into question when he not only abandoned his son mid-workout, but when Braveheart informed us that he’s never seen Cool Runnings. We considered contacting CPS, but Term agreed to a 24-hour Cool Runnings marathon for Braveheart. After we Superman-ed and Banana-ed in front of the futbol boys, we put a wrap on the tour with a beer at Viscious Fishes.
THAT’S A WRAP
It’s been an extremely fun week experiencing all of what makes F3 Carpex special. While our shield lock is what holds each of us accountable, it’s the PAX around the region that make showing up each morning special. F3 Carpex is an incredible group, never short of laughter, kick-ass workouts, encouragement and good dudes. For all of you PAX we met for the first time this week and for those we see a little more often on “home turf” – thanks for making it a little easier to wake up early each day!
Watch out for Boy Band Tour Spring 2021! LET’S GO!