When Tang came to me for advice about starting an evening workout I thought he was joking. F3 is a morning thing. We workout in the gloom because…well, I mean have you ever seen Kwik Stop in the light of day? Exactly! But I knew respects like Biner and Ma Bell were usually being put down by their nurses in the evening so maybe knowing those types would be out would bring in more PAX.
I had no plans to ever post at Ragnarok much less Q there. Then I saw the shirt. There are a lot of AO and F3 shirts out there: “Don’t Blame Me, I Voted For Ma Bell”, the Bounty Hunters shirt, the limited edition Rubber Band Man (tie-dyed after the flighty hippie that created then abandoned the AO), and so on. But that Ragnarok shirt is a piece of art. The requirement was to Q 3x, but I knew I would have to get it the old fashioned way: Q a workout then break into Tang’s truck while I sent everyone off to the other side to the park…
I came across Blow Out running in as I arrived at the AO. We played our usual game where I drive behind him really fast and he runs as fast as he can then dives into the bushes. At the flag, Chewie was cleaning out his truck. No joke. He had a battery powered vacuum, a full maid service and the Carolina Panther’s cheerleading squad. Frankly, I thought the maid service was overkill for an SUV.
“Hey, Tang,” I said, trying to yell over the chants of “Chewie, Chewie, he’s our man! If he can’t do it no one can!”
Tang said something but like everyone else he was more interest in watching Chewie clean his car. Well, maybe not necessarily the actual cleaning, but the activities around it.
“Should we start?!” I yelled. At that point Texas Ranger walked up with his 2.x Seahawk. “Why is Seahawk wearing earplugs and a blindfold?” Tang yelled.
“Frisco Q,” Texas yelled back.
Eventually, much to our collective disappointment Chewie finished cleaning his car and the cheerleaders and maid service left. Tang tried to throw some dirt into Chewie’s car, but the Chew man was wise to him and slammed the door before the dirt made it out of Tang’s hands.
I called for order, gave the disclaimer, outsourced the Pledge and led the PAX on a merry jaunt around the pickle.
Warm Up (I bet you thought I’d never start the actual BB):
Sir Fazios – F and B
Overhead, backwards (TYFYL, Texas) and forward claps
Merkins
Mountain Climbers
Hilly Billies
The Thang:
Driving over I had come up with a horrible workout: the 1,000 Yard Stare. I figured once I described it there would be protests and I could cancel the whole workout and do COT to make it an official Q and grab my shirt. But unfortunately no one balked so I partnered us up.
300 Dirkins
300 One-legged/Pistol Squats (both legs = 1 rep, so essentially 600)
300 Right Side/Left Side Crunches (so essentially 600 LBCs)
The only pushback I got was from Seahawk who pointed out that 300 + 300 + 300 was only 900 “yards”.
“Fine,” I said. “Then Partner runs the pickle while the other one does exercises, then swap out. That has got to be 300 yards. 300 + 300 + 300 + 300. That’s 1000 Yards. Happy, Seahawk?”
Seahawk started to protest something about “1,200” but Texas wisely shushed him. Honestly, someone needs to look into this New Math the kids are learning.
COT:
Count-a-rama: 0 Respects, 5 Mehs, 1 Potluck Joe (do we really need to use the word ‘Hate’ in the current political climate…?)
Announcements: Check Slack. Also, no, Chewie did NOT shoot out the window at the last outing. Being from West Virginia all of his junior high and high school electives apparently were related to firearms so he’s got a fair idea what he’s doing. Trike is taking donations for the $450 replacement cost of the window.
Prayers/Praises: Disco Duck’s MIL passed this week. Prayers for him and his family. PAX traveling–keep them safe, my SIL for some tough decisions she needs to make, silent and unspoken.
Seahawk took us out and it was honestly one of the best prayers/close outs I have heard. (I’m still worried about his terrible math skills, though)
NMS:
Sometimes a man get’s tempted to “look around” when he realizes he’s not older but rather “distinguished”. Don’t. Every line on your M’s face (and yours by the by) represent a moment in your shared lives. Some are laugh lines, some trace the tracks of your M’s tears, some are a combination of both. But her face and yours are a map of your lives together. You go looking around for a “fresh face” you will lose a big piece of yourself–your past. Maybe a man wants to escape his past and his mistakes and lost dreams that got him where he is today. I am no expert–far, far, far from it, but I know walking on the clouds is a sure way to fall hard back to the earth. Stick to the mountain that touches the clouds that you built layer after layer with the M.
And frankly…you ain’t all that.