Another glorious day in the gloom is upon us and YHC is ready for his second ever solo Q at his favorite AO, Bradford’s Ordinary (BO for short). As always, there’s been a lot of mumble chatter in CARPex and YHC has been trying to keep up. If only there was a way to organize our chatter in such a manner where one could easily find topics of conversation and @ their favorite PAX in order to provoke an immediate reply. Oh well, I guess I’ll go back to sifting through Slack threads and try to catch up. Maybe we need a few more channels? Anyway, pardon my tangent.
Luckily, YHC stumbled upon two main topics of chatter in recent weeks, the request for more Vanilla workouts and the emergence of the Octothreat. What’s the Octothreat you ask? Let me quote our good friend from Louisville, Captain Insano:
Defining the Octothreat is like me telling you how to taste umami; how to feel a kiss from a rose; how to know if your kid is truly good looking; how to be your own Octothreat. Plus, I don’t own Octothreat. I’m barely a caretaker. I just happened to be in the same ether when it was born from the mind of Hello Kitty of F3 Carpex. Therefore, I define it with both care and trepidation. Hello Kitty can clarify any errors in the comment section below. But here goes:
Definition 1: Octothreat. Adjective.
A description of a person who has almost three times the skills as a triple threat, but all eight of them dulled to the point that they’re nearly useless.
Definition 2: Octothreat. Noun.
Any workout that employs a series of 8 exercises, or variants, or multiples thereof, in succession.
Definition 3: Octothreat. All 8 parts of speech. (yep; there are 8. Woof).
Octothreat. That’s all you had to say.
Now, to be honest, after 2 days in a row of the Octothreat (Tuesday at FWD & Wed at Blender in Louisville) I wasn’t sure the earth could handle another shifting of the tectonic plates but YHC felt compelled to test the fate of the world. Maybe it has something to do with today’s date, 2/8. So here we go…
This morning at BO started like many others, with the running of the now infamous #MeowMile which departed from FUMC at 5:30. It was a 3 man op with Hermes, Term Paper, and YHC. 2 PAX, which I won’t name…actually I will, Chinese Downhill and Wonderbread, opted out of the #MeowMile in favor of the heat that was generating from within their method of transportation. Now back to the story…
With the 3 man #MeowMile now complete, the morning greetings and mumble chatter start to percolate among the PAX as we all anticipate the start of what YHC promised to be a Vanilla flavored morning. BTW, props to Tubeless for the audible this morning and opting for the Vanilla. Although, I heard something about a “Disco Burpee Eleven”? Sounds interesting, I’ll wait for the BB. Now back to the story…
The disclaimer is given and we mosey to our usual BO warm-up spot for some usual warm-ups: Good Mornings, SSH, Hillbillies, Arm Circle Thingies, Merkins and Plank Jacks. Everybody warm? Good, now follow me!
THANG 1:
Now I know I promised Vanilla and trust me, we’ll get to that but YHC couldn’t ignore that round 1 of the GREATEST RIVALRY IN SPORTS happens tonight as the Tarheels host the Dookies, tip-off at 8pm eastern on ESPN. I also couldn’t ignore the power of the Octothreat as it drew near. So here’s the…oh, what’s that Hermes? You say you’re not doing any light poles? YES, YOU ARE! So here’s the plan:
- We’ll work our way down Academy street much like the drive Duke will make down Tobacco Road to visit the Heels. BTW, it’s a 9.8-mile drive, notice the 8. #OCTOTHREAT
- We’ll stop at each streetlight and do 1 of 2 exercises, alternating between Carolina Dry Docks and Bobby Hurleys. 8 at each light until we get to the end. #OCTOTHREAT
THANG 2:
Follow me to the courtyard adjacent to the fountain. Before we get into Thang 2, line-up in the plank position and we’ll do a 10 count down the line. YHC was weary of an 8 count as a greater Octothreat was on the horizon.
Now, the Carolina/Duke game isn’t the only major sporting event happening. The 2018 Winter Olympic games officially started yesterday (2/7) although the opening ceremonies aren’t until tomorrow (2/9). I’m sure there’s a reasonable explanation. Anyway, back to the story…
I honor of the Winter Olympics and one of the most watched events, Ice Skating, we will do 3 rounds of Figure 8’s around the courtyard. Partner up!
- Round 1: Partner 1 will run from cone to cone in the direction of figure 8. At each cone, partner 1 will drop and do 8 Merkins (Vanilla). Partner 2 will be doing Squats (Vanilla) until partner 1 finishes.
- Round 2: Partner 1 will continue to do 8 Merkins at each cone (Vanilla) while Partner 2 does LBCs (Vanilla).
- Round 3 (Gold Medal Round): Partner 1 will once again do 8 Merkins at each cone (Vanilla) while Partner 2 does Burpees (Vanilla).
You guys tired yet? Good, let’s go!
THANG 3
We’ll work our way back to the “flag” which I put in quotes because it wasn’t until we got back to the “flag” that YHC realized something was missing! Hmmm…gotta talk with the site Qs about that. Anyway, back to the story…
We’ll work our way back to the flag with “Catch Me If You Can”. Partner 1 will head down Walnut Street toward the parking lot on the corner of Walnut and Walker. Partner 2 partner will do 8 Bobby Hurleys. Catch up with your partner and flapjack. There’s a really nice wall next to the parking lot so let’s stop here and line-up. Hey, where’s Wonderbread going? Guess he has more important things to do. Anyway, back to the story…
We’ll start with the People’s Chair for an 8 count down the line. Next, we’ll do BTTW. Of course, since Hermes is here, he has to show off and do 1 arm BTTW with a slow count. Ok, we get it, you’re strong like a Greek god, now hurry up and count to 8! We’ll finish our journey back to the “flag” with a continuation of CMIYC but this time Partner 2 will do an 8 count of Carolina Dry Docks.
Ok, done with that so let’s circle up on our six for an All Request Mary around the circle. Each PAX will lead an 8 count of their favorite Mary. The typical requests were made, LBCs, Merkins, Homer to Marge, Box Cutters, etc. Although I must point out there were 2 requests for Boat-Canoe. REALLY?!? I thought Riptide was fartsacking this morning? Anyway, back to the story…actually the story is over. WE’RE DONE! The world is still turning, the seas have not risen and the shifting of the tectonic plates seems to have stopped. Does that mean we have now harnessed the power of the Octothreat? Are we now ready to use its power for the greater good? Time will tell.
COT
Count-a-rama: 13
Name-a-rama: 5 RESPECTS, 7 mehs, 1 HATEs
Announcements:
- The Maynard will, in fact, happen again next Wednesday (2/14)
- No Rush Hour next Tuesday. Instead, there will be a convergence at Healing Transitions for the Oak City Recovery Run Club Block Party. Various running options, food trucks, music, fellowship, bring the family. This is a fundraiser, find out more here
- Raleigh Mule is Saturday, March 10th, don’t forget to sign-up.
Prayers/Praises:
- Praise for Tubeless surviving a recent visit from the in-laws. All went well, nobody’s feelings got hurt.
- No prayers to speak of but as always, continued prayers for our F3 brothers, their families and the unspoken prayers around the world.
BOM: YHC took us out.
NMS:
Woke up this morning and feeling quite sore after the last 2 days. I was a bit worried that I may be leading from behind but ALAS, YHC was able to tighten up and lead from the front…sometimes the middle.
It was a little brisk this morning, a good reason not to go sleeveless. Not a single PAX in a tank top this morning. Good call!
The #MeowMile just isn’t the same without its namesake. We miss you, Kitty!
Don’t forget the Carolina-DOOK game tonight. #GoHeels
After about the 4th light pole and 2nd round of Bobby Hurleys, YHC was feeling the burn. I don’t think I was alone. #OCTOTHREAT
I hope one day I’ll have calves like Hermes…did I say that out loud?
Appreciate the mumble chatter this morning. Despite Burt being at home in Raleigh, we had some quality MC this morning. Proud of you, fellas!
Lots of praise from the PAX regarding the quality of the beatdown. I hope you mean it.
Ma Bell missed out on a quality Merkin day. By my count, we did 162. Nice work, boys! #OCTOTHREAT
It has now been my honor to lead you for the 3rd time (my 2nd as a solo Q). As I posted on our 3rd F channel in Slack, not only has F3 helped me become stronger physically but more importantly mentally and spiritually. I’m blessed, as we all are, to have discovered the brotherhood of F3. Thank you for letting me lead you this morning.
Awesome stuff. F3 is a game changer.
Come along with me on this thought journey…
Today marked the 3rd Octothreat of the week across F3 nation. That amounts to 24 threats (8 threats x 3 days = 24…keep up). As luck would have it, there are 24 hours in a day. Speaking of days, there are 7 of them each and every week. If you are inclined to do a little arithmetic, you’ll notice that there are 168 hours in the span of a single week. If you were to divide those 168 hours in a week by 8, you’d be left with 21. Why is 21 significant, you ask? Well, buckle up brother, I’m about to open my world to you.
Before we get to the reason that 21 is significant, I must point something else out to you, dear reader. Three Octothreats in three days equates to one threat every three hours (remember: 8 threats x 3 days = 24 threats. Over three days, that means 24 threats in a 72 hour period, hence, 1 threat every 3 hours). If this isn’t enough to blow your mind outright, let me throw something else at you. What is a threat? You ever think about that? Well, as our adopted son of Carpex, Captain Insaneo, pointed out so deftly, an Octothreat is a person who has almost three times the skills as a triple threat, but all eight of them dulled to the point that they’re nearly useless. So, a threat is a dulled skill. Okay, now I know this is getting convoluted – hang in there.
What do dulled skills have to do with time? (Remember, 1 threat every 3 hours from before.) Well, lets go back to that incredibly significant number – I’m talking about 21. If you were asked to multiply 3 times 21, (hopefully) you would come up with the number 63. Going a step further, the 63rd day of any non-leap year is the 4th of March. HOWEVER, every leap year, March 4th is actually the 64th day of the year. Now ask yourself the most important question you could possibly ask yourself in your entire life next: “Self, what is the square root of 64?”
Whoa.
“But, Self,” you might be asking yourself, “what does this have to do with dulled skills?” I’m glad you asked yourself that very important question. And the answer is simple, but in a complexly beautiful way. Finding this answer is like thinking about the concept of “eternity”, or “space”. It’s the kind of thing that is harder to grasp the more you allow yourself to think about it, so you typically just ignore it. But don’t ignore this answer, most excellent theophilus, because the answer is different for each of us. Each of our “dulled skills” are different. Consider this: Apísteftos, the Greek word for “threat”, is the same term used to describe situations that would be roughly translated “unique”. And what happens when you tip an “8” on it’s side? Infinity. That’s what happens. This means that Octothreat, at it’s core, means “infinitely unique”. You only need to look at the thumbprint of your existence to see what has already been made clear to you, if only you would allow yourself to finally see the Truth.
And the Truth? The Truth is that you (yes, you) are…
OCTOTHREAT.
Woof
Paramount thematic utilization @f3wkrp !