Date: 11/9/19
AO: Whiplash
QIC: Flip Flop
PAX of 16: Denali, Dolly, Fava Bean, Flip Flop, Heartworm, Keillor, Leandro, MacGruber, Michelob, Mr. Furley, Old Maid, Pierogi, Red Card, Red Sea, Sub, Wonderbread
I’ve been to Whiplash quite a few times and lemme tell ya, it’s different. Yes it’s ” a high intensity bootcamp”, but that’s not what’s different. It’s different because you got 2-3 different regions coming to the workout: Raleigh, Carpex, and Southwake. All all 3 of those groups like to stick out their proverbial chests like their tuffer than the other region. Just kidding, nobody does that. Who am I kidding, maybe a little bit of chest puffing goes on—hahahaha!
Whiplash is great for getting guys from adjacent regions to a central workout, but it’s hard to actually get to know the guys from the other regions cuz the workout involves higher paced running all over those damn hills—-making it a bit difficult for small talk.
You get the point, it’s hard to get to know your fellow F3 brothers out there. It also seems like there should be one of those House Divided flags next the the Shovel Flag.
About that Shovel Flag though. Where was it? Is it really an F3 workout without the Shovel Flag, or just a bunch of dudes meeting up in the parking lot? For the record, I think I know where the Whiplash Shovel Flag was! It was sitting in a vault right next to other things rarely seen at Whiplash: the super secret Whiplash Q sign up sheet and all the Whiplash Backblasts!
In an effort to get to know our F3 brothers, it was time for another round of speed dating at Whiplash. I tried the same thing about a year ago and it was as successful as real speed dating: Everyone was lovey-dovey for their first ‘date’, then the next week we all hated each other again—-hahahaha!
After giving a eloquent disclaimer and checking for FNGs, YHC introduced himself as the exercise leader of the 90-minute Whiplash workout. Keillor’s eyes got as big as saucers and his knees were visibly shaking. Keillor: “Nah man, this is the 60 minute workout”. Got him! Keillor knew he couldn’t hang tuff for a 90-minute Flip Flop workout. He was scared to death! Color returned to his face when I told him it was only a 60 minute workout.
Speaking of workouts, this is what we did:
Circle up for Invisible Jump Rope, GM—>Michael Phelps, Merkins, and Saturday Nite Stretch. All performed in perfect cadence.
Then men were instructed to get a partner, preferably one from a different region or one you don’t know so well. During our warm-up jog, partners were to find out F3 name, how long been doing F3, etc. Intermittently during the workout, men were called upon to tell us about their partner, affectionately known as the Speed Dating Sesh.
We ran the to the north side of the Art Museum parking lot, painted some lines agility-style, x 15 merkins, x 20 Air-Force Ones, and whilst in plank hold a couple guys were called upon to tell us about their partner.
Catch-Me-If-You-Can: 5 hand release merkins, from the north parking lot around the south side of the lake, and finishing at the east side of the lake. x 20 LBCs, x 20 Freddie Mercs. Speed Date info sesh.
All 16 men line up for Ride The Wave until we lastly ran up Hobbit House hill. From there, you’re partner ran back to bottom of the Hobbit House hill and performed 5 Sumo Squat Jumps, while the other partner performed AFAP x15 SSH, x15 Merkins, x 15 PJs. Flip Flop for 2 sets each. Then plank hold for a speed Dating sesh.
From there, groups of 4 Indian Run from East Reedy Green Trail to bottom of B.A. hill before 440 bridge. Speed dating sesh. Then LBCs x 20, and Two Amigos for a 10 count.
About that 10 count though: before we started Two Amigos, I approached a PAX I didn’t know and asked his name. The response was in the most burliest and most manly voice there ever was: “MacGruber”. This time my eyes must have been big as saucers and my gulp was most certainly visible. At this point YHC starts having a conversation in his mind’s eye: “Holy schnikes, this is THE MacGruber! The boxing legend himself! He hates Carpex guys! I hope he didn’t notice me gulping when he told me his name. This is the guy that beat the crap out of Burt in the Raleigh vs Carpex boxing event; MacGruber put Burt down so many times that Burt’s butt was red like a baboon, and blackened both of Burt’s eyes like a racoon! I must think of something cool and clever to say to MacGruber”.
But instead of saying something clever, what came out of my mouth was something I hadn’t heard in years. My voice was squeeky and crackly like I was going through puberty: “MacGruber, since you know about 10 counts, then let’s hear it”. To say MacGruber was unimpressed would be an understatement.
Next exercise was the Plateau Series: bottom of hill partner Derkins x 15—->run up hill to bridge—>x 15 partner WWIIs—–> 80% sprint across bridge—->x 15 partner WWIIs—>run down House Creek Greenway just past first bridge for x 15 Partner Derkins. Repeato on the way back to the original starting point at bottom of B.A. hill. Speed dating sesh.
It was on this Plateau Series that I finally decided to speak to my Speed Dating partner: Red Sea! Seriously, how did I get partnered with this guy? We debated which of us had the faster 80% sprint. But mostly we yapped about basketball: Red Sea begged me for weeks to come to Brick City, the basketball centric AO in Raleigh at Neighbor-to-Neighbor. Red Sea claimed he was “gonna swat my shot into the third row” and a bunch of other blah, blah, blah about what he was gonna do to me. So I show up to Brick City and Red Sea is the QIC (like he is in charge of what teams play each other). We have 4 teams set, and to Red Sea’s convenience, my team never plays his team. Summary: Red Sea was super chicken to play against me; it was unbelievable!
Side Note***All you guys should go to Brick City at least once to support Yoda and the Neighbor-to-Neighbor guys. You don’t need to be any good at basketball or need to have any experience playing basketball. How do I know this? Because Drysdale was there, and lemme tellya’, he dribbles like he’s playing bongos or like playing Whack-a-Mole with an open palm, and he even shot at the wrong goal twice!
Next the PAX jogged on the single/double-track dirt trail to the bottom of the Pipe Art structure. Perform x 20 LBCs. Then with your partner, the next exercise is The Lollipop Of Death: Perform x 10 K2Cs on the Pipe Art, run up the dirt hill lollipop stick and perform x 5 Bobby Hurlys at the top, continue with each partner run in opposite directions around the lollipop, when meeting x 10 partner Merkins, continue on and meet again for x 5 Bobby Hurleys, run back down the lollipop stick to bottom for 10 more K2Cs. Perform that again, except stop at the top of the lollipop. x 20 Freddie Mercs. Speed dating sesh.
Starting at the Circle-Art structure, everyone get a swig of water in their mouth (but don’t swallow), run up to the top of the hill and spit said water out. Speed dating sesh.
At the circle at top of hill: x 10 dips, x 10 box jumps, sprint 80% around the circle, x 10 box jumps, sprint 80% around the circle. Mosey out to the parking lot. Get another swig of water in your mouth, AYG to the invisible Shovel Flag, and spit out said water. All done.
Covered 4.5 miles while Speed Dating.
Count-a-rama: 16
Name-a-rama: Respects and Mehs were heard.
Announcements: Raleigh Christmas Party (pfft.. big deal). Oakwood24 in December
Prayers/Praises: Keillor’s future twins.
A PAX member took us out.
Nekkid Mole Skin:
- It was a fun morning and awesome hearing about our F3 brothers via Speed Dating, even though we didn’t get to every single person. I personally learned a lot about several guys.
- Denali: still not sure if he claims to be a Raleigh guy or a Carpex guy, or both. Either way, we’re lucky to have him in these parts.
- I saw Mr. Furley at Y-Guides Fall Outing the next day; didn’t even recognize him, as he cleaned up well.
- After the workout, the Carpex guys went and had black coffee. The Raleigh guys don’t drink coffee anymore; instead they were going to drink something called Boba Bubble Tea. <freakin’weirdos>
luvyou, Flip Flop