Date: 2/9/19
AO: Whiplash
QIC: Flip Flop
PAX: Banjo, Ben Johnson, BOGO, Chanticleer, Denali, Flip Flop, Grease Monkey, Hi-Lighter, Huxtable, Lutz, Man Hands, Michelob, Mr. Furley, Old Maid, Red Card, Red Sea, Spin Class, Sub, Sunshine.
For a few months now, Red Sea has been in my ear, like a little annoying gnat, to Q at Whiplash. Told me, “It is payback time”. I had no idea what he was talking about. So maybe I heckled Redseasy a lil’ bit at his last couple Whiplash Qs. Big deal. He seemed to take it in stride….I thought. Anyway, I agreed.
Little did I know all the time and work that goes into signing up at Whiplash. There ain’t no Q-Sheet online. Turns out, them boys protect the Q-Sheet; like the damn Q-Sheet is in Fort Knox. There was a rigorous screening process. First I had to supply some Whiplash minions with the required two background checks (so what if I climbed on stage during the U2 concert at Crater Finley and sang Where The Streets Have No Name), three most recent IRS Tax Returns (yes I took a write-off on a jock strap…only wore it a few times after my vasectomy), and two references (whatya mean Burt and Carman are not acceptable?). Finally the minions set up the formal interview to get on the Whiplash Q-Sheet. I walk in expecting to see Dredd and OBT, but instead the site Qs are actually Frey Daddy and Michelob. Pfft, these guys, softies.
Them: “Do you think you can handle Qing Whiplash”?
YHC: “You gotta be kidding me. Even Largemouth Q’d Whiplash”.
Them: “Hmmm, you’ve got a good point. You want the 90-minute or 60-minute”?
YHC: thinking to myself, huh there’s a 90-minute?, hells no I don’t want lead those fools for 90-minutes. “I’ll take the 60 minute”.
I’ve been to Whiplash a bunch of times and lemme tell ya, it’s different. Yes it’s ” a high intensity bootcamp”, but that’s not what’s different. It’s different because you got 2-3 different regions coming to the workout: Raleigh, Carpex, and Southwake. All all 3 of those groups like to stick out their proverbial chests like their tuff. Just kidding, nobody does that. But it’s hard to get to know the guys from the other regions cuz the workout involves a higher paced running all over those damn hills—-makes it a bit difficult to talk to the other guys—-unless you’re Denali. Seems like everytime I go to Whiplash I’m running up the biggest frickin’ hill in the Triangle next to Denali…..and he’s actually trying to have a conversation with you. Denali prolly thinks I’m a jerk because I never answer any of his questions—–no bro, I jus ain’t got any breath to talk right now.
You get the point, it’s hard to get to know your fellow F3 brothers out there. Like next to the Shovel Flag, there should be one of those House Divided flags.
So today, it was time for some Speed Dating. This is what we did:
No FNGs, so circle up for Invisible Jump Rope, GM, Merkins, and Saturday Nite Stretch. All performed in perfect cadence.
Then men were instructed to get a partner from a different region, preferably one you don’t know so well. So Raleigh guys partnered with Carpex guys. During our warm-up jog, partners were to find out F3 name, how long been doing F3, etc. Intermittently during the workout, men were called upon to tell us about their partner.
We ran the to the north side of the Art Museum parking lot, painted some lines agility-style, x 15 merkins, x 20 Air-Force Ones, and whilst in plank hold a couple guys were called upon to tell us about their partner.
Catch-Me-If-You-Can: 5 hand release merkins, from the north parking lot around the north side of the lake, and finishing at the east side of the lake. x 20 LBCs, x 20 Freddie Mercs. Speed Date info sesh.
All 19 line up for Ride The Wave until we lastly ran up the big grassy hill. From there, you’re partner ran back to bottom of the big grassy hill and performed 5 Sumo Squat Jumps, while the other partner performed AFAP x15 SSH, x15 Merkins, x 15 PJs. Flip Flop for 3 sets each. Then x 20 Wright Flyers. Speed Dating sesh.
From there, groups of 4 Indian Run from East Reedy Green Trail to bottom of B.A. hill before 440 bridge. LBCs x 20.
Next exercise was the Plateau Series: bottom of hill partner Derkins x 15—->run up hill to bridge—>x 15 partner WWIIs—–> 85% sprint across bridge—->x 15 partner WWIIs—>run down House Creek Greenway just past first bridge for x 15 Partner Derkins. Repeato on the way back to the original starting point at bottom of B.A. hill. Speed dating sesh. Then one round of 2-Amigos with the longest 10-count eva from Hi-Lighter. At that time, we all changed partners.
While jogging on the single/double-track dirt trail to the bottom of the Pipe Art structure, get to know your new partner. x 20 LBCs. With your new partner, the next exercise is The Lollipop Of Death. Perform 5 pullups, run up the dirt hill lollipop stick, at top each partner run in opposite directions around the lollipop, when meeting x 10 partner Merkins, continue on and meet again for x 5 Bobby Hurleys, run back down the lollipop stick to bottom for 5 more pull-ups. Perform that again, except stop at the top of the lollipop. x 25 Wright Flyers. Speed dating sesh.
Starting at the Circle-Art structure, run backwards up the hill (well about half way) and then run over to the amphitheater. Speed dating sesh.
Run up the stairs and perform 5 Burpee-Star Jumps. Get in 2 lines for Double Applesauce to the Shovel Flag, which was blown over, so x 3 penalty burpees.
Covered 4.43 miles while Speed Dating.
Count-a-rama: 19
Name-a-rama: Respects and Mehs were heard.
Announcements: The Mule (March 9th)
Prayers/Praises: Banjo’s coworker, Grease Monkey’s co-worker, Old Maid’s co-worker. YHC took us out.
Nekkid Mole Skin:
- It was awesome hearing about our F3 brothers via Speed Dating, even though we didn’t get to every single person. I personally learned a lot about several guys.
- One person said this was the greatest workout ever Q’d at Whiplash. One person said the QIC was the most handsome to ever grace Whiplash. I agree with myself on both aforementioned comments.
- In classic fashion, Grease Monkey complained about everything, although I think I saw him enjoying at least 2 or 3 SSHs. He’s a piece of work.
- Once during the workout, I was surrounded by 4 Kentucky guys. I felt smart, which was weird.
- There was a former Whiplash site Q there today, who seemed way more responsible than the current site Qs.
- Huxtable reminded us that Whiplash has a Raleigh address. ok, ok.
- 6 of us enjoyed some Panera coffeeteria.
It was a fun morning, and I’ll always remember that just for a sliver of time on 2/9/19, the Raleigh and Carpex guys acted as if they kinda liked each other. Next week, it’s back to business as usual. For now, the Carpex dudes drove back to their side of town, but just before crossing the line into Cary/Apex, all changed into their city ordinance required brown shirts, which matches their brown mailboxes, and brown 9-foot max height business signs, and brown houses. The Raleigh guys drove back downtown to get ready to go out tonight in skinny jeans and to tour a craft Hummus House. All is well.
luvyou, Flip Flop