Fern Gully

In recent months, we’ve encountered a herd of fern people (h/t Hermes) from Lifetime Fitness exercising in our parking lot. I thought this morning, we could return the favor…

Augmented rolled up with an FNG, so YHC took a crack at delivering the full disclaimer.

Pledge of Allegiance, mosey across the street to 8000 Regency for the warm-up.

Warm-up (I humbly suggest that Carpex is in a warm-up rut, so I pulled a couple new ideas from the Exicon):

• SSH
• Good Morning
• Windmill
• Annie (from the Exicon, it’s a one-handed “wax on, wax off” motion while in a plank)
• Calf Stretch
• Goofball (standing mountain climber – this is as embarrassing-looking as advertised)

Mosey to Lifetime Fitness (about 3/4 a mile).

Thang 1: Santa’s Ladder.

From the Exicon: “Pick a spot in the distance. Run from your starting point to that spot and do 10 Burpees. Return to start. Turnaround, run back to your spot, now do 9 Burpees. Continue this running and rep routine, downward counting through to completing 6 burpees. Then, as you hit the 5-1 count reps, do Merkins instead of Burpees. After the entire 10-1 set is over, pause. Make it appear you’re done. Then announce that you’re reversing the order. In this new set, now you start with Merkins as your 10-6 set and finish with Burpees as 5-1.”

My execution was pretty good on this one. Pax were hurting by the end of the first round, and the announcement that we were starting over, in reverse, was really unpopular. Excellent.

The fern people were questioning why we were doing burpees by their front door. We persisted.

Thang 2: Bearmuda Triangle.

From the Exicon: “3 markers ~30yds apart in shape of a triangle. Pax performs one burpee at first marker and bear crawls to 2nd marker, 2 burpees and bear crawl to 3rd marker, 3 burpees and bear crawl back to 1st marker. Rinse and Repeat x 3. Named Bearmuda Triangle as it has been known to mysteriously lose some pax along the way.”

This one was appropriately named. By the time we made it to the second marker, I was at risk of a full-blown mutiny. Luckily, the clock demanded that we abort and head home.

Thang 3: Indian Run back to flag. At this point, we were right at the 3-mile line, and the run was a bit of a cluster. We eventually made it.

Quick Mary: LBC, burps, and then closed with one last set of Goofballs (since those had gone over so well during the warm-up).

COT:

• Announcements: Refinery at 6:45 on Wednesdays at Bruegger’s
• Pax of 9
• FNG: Hoppin’ John (his first concert was a festival headlined by the Black Eyed Peas)
• YHC took us out.

5 for Coffeeteria at NY Bagel. We were all in shambles. They wisely set up outside seating to quarantine us.

NMS:

• Jokes aside, the Lifetime folks are always super friendly, and we welcome them to share our little parking lot.
• Welcome back to Carpex legend Repeato, returning to BiB after all his summer travels.
• As a relative newbie, I’m grateful for the Exicon.
• Congrats to Slappy and Cataracts for launching Hot for Teacher this morning. Those guys are on fire.
• Merlot was almost spilled this morning. Everyone made it intact, though.
• July 11 was the day I determined I have to buy a seat cover for my car.