Scott,
I saw your response to Geoff and I see where your confusion is. F3 does NOT think “men are natural leaders”—quite the opposite, in fact. Also your definitions of “faith” and “leadership” are (at least the way F3 uses them) inaccurate.
F3 is a regionally based, FREE-of-charge workout group that is NOT affiliated with ANY religious organization. “Leadership” means servant leadership in family, relationship and community. “Faith” means surrounding yourself with strong, motivated men (who may or may not practice your particular brand of religion or atheism) that support you, hold you accountable and expect you to do the same for them.
Why male-only?
F3 guys get up when most people are still asleep and–regardless of the weather–drive out in the gloom to do boot camp-style workouts led by one of us. We don’t get up because we’ve paid for a gym membership or a personal trainer and “want our money’s worth”. We don’t get up because the workouts become easier, in fact, as you get stronger they get harder because you push yourself more. Is that is a terrible sales pitch? Good.
Men like to be challenged to test themselves. There is a certain comfort in knowing you are stronger than you were yesterday and that you have a better chance to handle what life throws your way. Most of us are fathers and husbands or boyfriends or partners and have the innate desire to be useful, caring, and protect what we love and cherish in this world.
F3 ends every workout with a circle of trust (COT). We sit together and open up about challenges we or people we love are facing and successes we have had or seen. Not every man talks but every man listens.
Ask yourself what kind of man do you want to listen to and confide in?
A lot of people talk a good game, but I would rather listen to the 300 lbs guy who did 10% of the exercises and was one of the last two back to the starting point (we never leave anyone behind. Someone always stays back to run with the slowest person at their speed). That guy shows strength of character. How did he get 300 lbs? Same way we all find ourselves past our personal line we draw in the sand and then cross in spite of our best efforts. That guy will struggle with his personal demons the rest of his life whether he is 300 lbs or 170 lbs, but he doesn’t have to do it alone in the dark.
There is a definitely a need in a man’s life for a relationship with his spouse or partner—most humans are not designed to be alone. But the dynamics are different in that relationship and the type of support it brings is different from what you find in a male-only group setting. We talk a little good-natured trash during the workout and challenge each other to push our bodies. We encourage each other to step forward to lead or co-lead one of the workouts. But at the end we let down our guard in a safe space for a while and then close out with a prayer or moment of silence or inspirational quote. Yes, some guys do a Christian prayer but I have also heard Buddhist texts read or Hindu prayers said.
In our neck of the woods (F3 Carpex) we started a Dads, Daughters, and Sons workout (fun, active games rather than a boot camp workout but with a Circle of Trust) when we realized we wanted our kids to understand why we get up so early. When we noticed some of our members dropping off due to injury or new guys not joining because they were heavily overweight we started limited or non-running workouts. On September 11th, I climbed 911 stairs along with 150+ hundred other F3 guys, of which 30 were recovering dug addicts because we partner up with an organization that uses F3 style workouts with COTs to give them an alternative way to deal with the hardships that pushed them down the road they find themselves on. We supported the founding and growth of a FIA (Females in Action) group which shares some similarities to F3 but is a completely independent organization. When Hurricane Flo slammed into the Carolinas F3 guys grabbed their tools and helped friends, neighbors, each other and strangers with downed trees and damaged roofs.
F3 is not for everyone. But my friend who recently moved to your area isn’t looking to spread in your community a misogynistic organization bent on suppressing women. He is looking to develop a community of men to support him and that he can support. He is looking to build something like he was a part of here in North Carolina and some of our guys are flying out there to lead a few workout because they believe in the benefits of F3 in a community and in the lives of men. If you really stand behind your words and do want to end “the patriarchy” then come out to one of Geoff’s upcoming F3 workouts. The men who make up a group are influenced by each other and who do you want to impact and be impacted by? A bunch of guys who do the right things because simply because it is their nature? Your impacts are more likely to stick with those guys and get translated into action in your community.
But when you come bring gloves because we always end up doing a lot of push ups and bear crawls.
No man left behind, no man left unchanged.
Thanks,
Carl (Frisco — F3 Carpex)