The Name Game (and Gerald Owens)


It’s been a loooong time since YHC has been to FWD. Wonder if anything has changed? YHC got out of the car and could hear Hermes squeaky, but booming voice, telling dad bad jokes. Nope, nothing has changed.

After a lengthy disclaimer orated by YHC, the eleven of us were off on a warm-up run that included the FWD baby gherkin pickle and continued to the parking lot where we used to do Monkey Humpers in front of the Crossfit place. ***Of note, while passing the BP to the parking lot where Crossfit used to be, someone was getting a carwash. For real. It was 34 degrees.
Oh, also we partnered up and learnt our partner’s Hospital Name and F3 Name, and about how longs he’d been attending F3 workouts.

Warm Up: All performed in perfect cadence by YHC
Invisible Jump Rope, GM—>Phelps, Sir Fazios forward—>retro, Merkins, AirForceOnes, Saturday Nite Stretch.

Thang 1:
Sorta a descending 4 corners thang in the parking lot where Crossfit used to be. At first corner perform x 10 SSH—>x 10 Merkins—->x 10 PJs. Fast jog to next corner and perform x 9 of the aforemetioned, and so on. Intermittently stopped in squat/plank hold while partners introduced their partner to the group. After completion of 10 corners, we did some sorta core exercises to get ready for Thanksgiving.

Thang 2:
A lil’ Agility City utilizing a variety of line hops/quick feet, whilst partner performs ascending pyramid runs. The PAX made the Agility City line hops/footwork look exactly how I expected: unathletic. Between sets we did some FreddieMercs—>low slow flutters—>LBCs. We then left the parking lot where Crossfit used to be, and while fellowship jogged to the FWD rock pile….all while learning our partners age.

Thang 3: lots of PAX glaring at their watch for some reason. Geeeez, it’s not time for coffee yet boys.
Grab a body sculpting rock. Guess nobody heard me, as YHC had the only body sculpting rock of the bunch. For real guys, getting a rock from the rockpile and walking 10 yards does not mean get a traveling rock. After a set of Curls4Gurls, RockRows, and Overhead Presses, we put our rocks back…..well YHC put his manmaker rock back while the other PAX put their lil skipping stones back. Fellowship jog to the Shovel Flag.

Mary: American Hammers, AirForceOnes—>WrightFlyers.

COT:
Count-a-rama: 11
Name-a-rama: each PAX introduced their partner: Hospital Name, Age, F3 Name.
Praises/Prayers: Joe Smith sister’s marriage, Slack Prayer list.
COM: Term Paper took us out like a pro.

Nekkid Mole Skin:
* All PAX said this was the greatest workout ever at FWD, but that isn’t true. This was actually the 2nd greatest. The greatest was also led by YHC, and was the first ever Carpex Halloween workout in 2017:
https://f3carpex.com/2017/10/31/halloween-extravaganza-f3-style/

  • As discussed, Hermes launched FMJ, along with his skinny baby-faced c-site Q Chanticleer, who had never even Q’d a workout before. bhahaha!
  • It was fun getting the PAX to tell their partners name, age, F3 name in COT. I didn’t forget my partner’s info, that’s for sure.
  • Speaking of names, you know Gerald Owens from the 10:00 pm WRAL news? I hesitate to write this, but if you bring up Gerald Owens name around Hermes….just the mention or thought of his name….then Hermes gets all worked up and gets a……. mini-chub, a broner, a half staff, a half-blood prince, a sem-dog, a Woodrow Wilson, a bonosaursus, a gumby, a doughner. Why? Hermes will be happy to tell you. Ya see during Whoopee time….around 10 p.m……Hermes turns up Gerald Owens to volume 9 or 10 on the bedroom t.v. Ya know, to drown out any other ’noise’ in the house.
  • Gross!!! The thought of Hermes naked just gave me a renob.
  • That’s the least of Hermes problems tho. Besides the spobo he gets when he hears Gerald Owens voice, Hermes also has something called metatarsalgia. Agility City didn’t decrease his healing time either.
  • Another thing about Hermes. Dude was making fun of my 3/4 Athletic types….you know, the kind that athletes wear. In the meantime, Hermes is wearing what he called “tights”, but were actually baggy Long Johns. Seriously, he looked like a semi-athletic mall walker…..at best.
  • The cold weather also brought out the return of Joe Smith’s orange toboggan….but it used to be bright orange and super cool….but now it looks all dusty dark orange. Tighten up Joe Smith…..wash it!
  • Greenbow with the on point coffeeteria. So good!

twas a pleasure.
luvyou,
Flip Flop


See also