The Carpex Wheel of Pain

Date: 4 Jan 2019, AO: Dante’s Peak

QIC: Parker

PAX: As seen below plus GTL, Ma Bell, Beanie, and Frisco (no post, just cake)

24 HIM showed up on a rainy, yet warm (50’s) January gloom to help YHC finish his 40th year on this planet. Much appreciated, men, this was an easy day to fartsack. 2FNG’s in fact. I almost forgot the disclaimer, thanks to the PAX for the reminder. To do something different, since it would just be boring for me to call 40 of a bunch of exercises all day, the 2.0’s helped me to assemble the Carpex Wheel of Pain. So, essentially the plan was still to do 40 of a bunch of exercises, but at least it’s like The Wheel is telling you to do it instead of the Q. Here’s how it went down.

Warm Up: Start with the Pledge then Mosey to the cul-de-sac and perform a bunch of random numbers of SSH (30), standard merkin (21), calf stretch (10 count x 2), fazio forward (14), fazio back (11), imperial walkers (15), and good mornings (6 IC). The plan of course was to do forty of a number of these, but Disco Duck got wise during the SSH with “I wonder how many of these we are gonna do?!”, so I decided that an audible doing warm up which left the Pax going ‘what the hell?’ and thinking YHC was a little off his rocker sounded just about right.

The Thang: Mosey to the soccer field, and YHC had hidden the (poorly laminated) Wheel of Pain near the entrance. Picked it up as we rolled by, and instructed the PAX to line up along the sideline of the soccer field. Instructions were simple: Starting at one end of the line a Pax would come forward, spin The Wheel, subsequently lead the pax in 40 of said exercise, then return to the line as the next Pax came up to spin. The goal was to get through all 24 Pax in 40 mins (aggressive, but doable, right?). Things started swimmingly with a spin of Freddie Mercury (literally, it was like lying in a shallow swimming pool), then on to jump squats, merkins, Superman, Freddie Mercury, burpees (yeah Beanie!), American Hammer, Freddie Mercury…wait a second?! What is Hot Spot doing?? Apparently 8 exercises, with 3 being on the ground in the water, is enough to elicit a call of “okay guys, next exercise is a lap around the field” from Hot Spot. YHC may, or may not, have become what Shut-In called “Angry Parker” at this point. But, believe it or not, I was thankful! This man wanted to RUN!! This was great. YHC kindly encouraged the men of the mutiny to join us all on the line instead of running around the field. It turns out that the field is 40 (okay maybe closer to 50) yards across, so what a great chance to do some Billy Runs! YHC led the men in a set of 2 billy runs with plank hold between, then 2 more, then 2 more. Satisfied that Hot Spot and his crew had their legs now warm, we regrouped and started back with the spinning, continuing with 40-count BTTW, another Billy Run (love it), BTTW, merkins, jump squats, and so on.

With about 5 minutes to go, I noticed someone setting up what looked to be a picnic underneath the shelter.

With 3 PAX to go (sorry guys, whoever you were that did not get to spin), and almost out of time we moseyed back to the flag. Final (and only) Mary consisted of 10 Peter Parker Merkins IC.

COT: 24, including GTL and Beanie who had to leave early. Welcome FNG Triple Lindy (Joel Dangerfield) who Hot Spot EH’d from NextDoor. Way to go, Hot Spot, you are forgiven of your attempted mutiny. Prayers for Ausfahrt and McCants in continued recovery.

NMS: While Frisco could not muster himself to make it to the beatdown, he did wake up thinking of cake. I can only imagine Frisco, on the evening of January 3, thinking about his new year resolution of Keto-and-Casein diet, and wondering what in the world he could do garner enough of an excuse to purchase a whole cake. Like, it would be a cheat day worthy of The Rock. But, what excuse to use? Scouring Groopme and seventy channels of Slack, he comes across one of the actual exercise channels he rarely looks at, and sees YHC talking about a birthday Q at Dante’s Peak. Since he rarely goes within 2 miles of a pull-up bar, this is a tough call, but it will be worth it. And so our humble servant Frisco, near midnight, hunts through Publix for the chocolate with butter cream icing (none of that cream cheese icing, dammit!) and a “4” and “0” candle. Successful, he sets his alarm for 6:15 am…just enough time to get to Dante’s…well, just enough time to eat cake at Dante’s Cafe.

Thanks Frisco, it was a super nice birthday touch buddy. Thanks to all you men for the new and amazing friends over the past year and a half.