Prologue: extensive interviews took place with several OGs of Carpex to obtain information for the following epic story of Danger Zone.
The history of the Danger Zone, the original Area of Operation in Carpex, runs deeeeeep. As fate, or faith, would have it…..the location for the greatest AO in the U.S.A was obvious. [There were a couple of other trials at other Cary locations: Walnut Street Park and Kids Together Park (site of current FWD), but North Cary Park ultimately was selected]. First launching in 2013, the characteristics for the men that would operate this magnificent site were established by F3 Nation: two men that could lead their fellow PAX to the promised land of Fitness, Fellowship, and Faith. As it is with all enchanting stories, one cannot write the history, the history writes itself. In other words, the aura of Danger Zone selects the site Qs and great history writes itself, the man doesn’t select to be the site Q and write its history.
That being said, Danger Zone was birthed 3/10/13 and selected the top two men in the nation as its site Qs: CK and Key West. These two men laid the foundation, etched the cornerstone, and framed the open door to men all across the world. But how was the name Danger Zone selected? According to sources, there was no name for this site the first few weeks, but subsequent events during workouts framed the name to this AO, utilizing quadruple+ entendres as part of the selection. Back in 2013, the park was a bit more rough: according to the OGs, “the roads in the park were treacherous”, and “often there would be random cars that would park side by side in the parking lot at 6:00 am for about 15 minutes then take off- drug deals, craigslist/tinder hookup”. Additionally, multiple injuries occurred during the first few workouts….mostly to the young and uncoordinated CK: 1. once at the now world famous climbing rocks, the PAX were performing pull-ups on the rocks and CK “cracked a rib”. 2. Soon after that, the PAX were performing “wall jumps (near the top of the big stairs from the greenway), I split my shin open down to the bone”. Yikes. Moreover, several PAX proclaimed that North Cary Park “was becoming the top gun of all the Triangle workouts”. Thus, the name of the AO was selected: Danger Zone! That day, the PAX named their first FNG McGillis (after Maverick’s hot chick in Top Gun). As a side note, the newly named McGillis “wasn’t impressed with his new name and never posted again”…hahahaha!!!!
The naming of Danger Zone was also significant in future Carpex AOs, as almost all the AO names have an entertainment/movie themed name.
Their work completed, CK and Key West knew Danger Zone required two new men to elevate the AO to the next stratosphere. Plus, Key West grabbed his keys and literally moved west. Thus, the choice obvious, and history wrote itself again by selecting Burt and Cee-Lo as the new site Qs. The keys were delivered on 4/10/14. Those two Hall of Famers then passed the baton on 12/4/15 to Callahan and LargeMouth. Callahan, a giddy, starry-eyed, under 30 yo, proudly donned a Danger Zone tank top while holding the DZ Shovel Flag at the now famous changing of the guard ceremony. And his co-site Q, a young LargeMouth, a man who runs better than he walks, and who coaches lacrosse better than he fishes, was obviously starstruck in the circa 2015 photo.
This brings us to 2/16/18. Danger Zone prescribed another change of the guard. From the hundreds of applications they received from all over F3 Nation, Callahan and LargeMouth muddled for months…..and months….to decide the heirs to the DZ Site Q. But as the history of great history demonstrates, these things cannot alone be chosen by men alone. It was just a few weeks prior that YHC and my bro/neighbor Pierogi were jogging into DZ one beautiful morning that IT happened. As we crested the hill to jog into DZ, a glowing aura domed the entire AO, the brightest stars hovered overhead, our strides unified, the Shovel Flag came into view….in more than usual vibrant colors, waving pure, and the DZ koozie dangling on the flagpole decorously askew. It was then Pierogi and I turned to each other, while in perfect cadence stride, and we each had that Eye of The Tiger look….except in his eyes…each pupil had a pierogi, and in mine there was a single flip flop in each pupil . It only meant one thing. We both knew that Danger Zone was near and dear to out heart, and that maybe…just maybe….we could one day be its co-site Qs.
On one of the greatest days of 2018, it happened. I say one of the greatest days, because Pierogi’s greatest day in 2018 was a tie between his beloved TCU Hornthingies being ranked (briefly) in the top 10 in football and when Poland won the gold in Olympic ski jumping. For me, the greatest day in 2018 so far was throwing a 60 yd hammer for a score. Much respect and love to the former DZ site Qs Callahan and LargeMouth. The actual ceremony was sorta less ceremonious than I envisioned: the shovel and 22 oz beer was passed, but less than 30 sec into the acceptance speech, the PAX faded away like Burts hairline. I mean, this wasn’t a Callahan Carpex Christmas party speech…..this was the DZ acceptance speech! With eyes shut for dramatic delivery, I was elegantly telling the PAX how far Pierogi and I had come to get to this moment: I was the son of a poor Georgia peanut farmer father and a Georgia peach picking mother. Pierogi was son of a Polish sharecropper. As YHC opened his eyes after delivering the opening lines to the acceptance speech……everyone was gone except me and Pierogi. So it was then and there that Flip Flop and Pierogi popped the top on the almost 2-year-old Natty Lite and slugged down possibly the worst tasting and flattest beer you can imagine. We were now men. Pierogi and YHC received hundreds of congratulations via texts, social media, and snail mail. The password to the coveted Danger Zone twitter account was supplied: dangerzonetheworldsgreatestAOanddontyouforgetit, and we immediately set off to get the required tattoo that all DZ site Qs have: the word Danger on the left butt cheek, and the word Zone on the right butt cheek. History will write itself again.
Now as fate, or faith, would have it, the DZ Q sheet had only one open slot for the next couple months. It was only obvious that me and Pierogi scoop up the first Q for this chapter and lead the men like all its other former site Qs: clustered at best.
So here’s the backblast from Danger Zone 2/23/18:
YHC left the house with Shovel Flag in hand and jogged over to Danger Zone. Boy was I proud! Cresting the entrance to see a bunch of men circled up and ready to go, my eyes were a bit watery. Oh not because I was getting teary-eyed thinking about how proud I was, but because YHC was out way too late the previous night and had slugged an unknown number of beers that only Burt would have been proud of. It’s safe to say, YHC may have been hung-over, and my tiny brain could not afford to be working on less cylinders than it normally requires. Luckily, that’s why you have a co-site Q, and I fully intended to lean on Pierogi today. So I planted the shovel flag at 5:44 a.m. and looked for Pierogi….and looked for Pierogi…..and looked for Pierogi. One more looking pass around the circle of PAX revealed no Pierogi, and to make matters worse…when I was slowly scanning the PAX and got to LargeMouth….his eyes narrowed and the left side of his mouth converted into a sly smile—a smirk. He was enjoying my struggle. That’s when it hit me: Some Things Never Change.
Warm-Up Circle men closely to give thanks for this opportunity today, as many out there are unable to physically, mentally, and otherwise, be able to enjoy this thing called F3.
Jog the world famous DZ Pickle two times with some butt kicks, sides skips, and carioca sprinkled in. End the jog at the DZ field, which was soooaaaking wet….like super-soupy! And get this: someone had driven out on the field and performed donuts all over it; deep ruts; mud; it was ugly. Almost in unison, the PAX suspected it was Callahan. I knew otherwise. Callahan would never do that to DZ. I betcha it was some of those Daintes Peak guys, or those Sloppery When Wet dudes.
SSH x 20, Fazio forth and retro x 10, GM x 5, Phelps Arm Swings x 5, ‘Merkins x 15, Airplane x 7, Saturday Night Stretch x 5.
Jog to other side of field to DZ rock pile and grab a body sculpting rock. We circled up for some rock work….but dang Billy!…..the fact that Billy carried the rock 10 feet from the rock pile to the PAX circle was a feat in itself. Billy’s rock was huuuuugggge. Coney claimed it was a meteorite and looked like a rock that The Hulk would use as a skipping stone.
- Rock exercises—> Double Applesauce Indian Run—–>rock exercises—>sprint 40 yd, side skip 20 yd, backpeddle sprint 40 yd. for 3 sets.
- Bo Dukes: groups of three men perform Bo Duke, then 1 Merkin, and continue for ~40 yd.
- Jog to Smurf Island
- Bear Crawl to second slide area: 2 sets of 15 dips and Derkins.
- jog to swing set area: half the men perform underhand pull-ups, half step downs. Flip flop 2 sets.
- Jog to sand volleyball court
- Broad jump burpees to first court, sprint to end, BTTW. Flip flop.
- Suicides all 3 sand courts, BTTW.
- Jog long way to Smurf Island. This will be starting point for TGIF Rock Wall series.
- half the men sprint to the world famous T.GI.F rock wall. Touch the Thankful rock, sprint back to Smurf Island. half the men are performing 10 reps of BOMBS. flip flop.
- half the men sprint to the world famous T.GI.F rock wall. Run through the Good Intention portal, sprint back to Smurf Island. half the men are performing 10 reps of BOMBS. flip flop.
- all the men sprint to the world famous T.GI.F rock wall. Touch the Forgiveness rock, sprint back to Smurf Island. Jog to Shovel Flag
- Mary: E2K x 10 each side.
Count-A-Rama and Name-A-Rama. 3 Ruckers today. Announcements: The Mule sign up, Prayers: the young man who took his life, Florida shooting victims. BOM: YHC took us out