Odd title, right? Well, I don’t just mean rival or enemy or generic bad thing. I am going old-school for the classical Greek meaning of the goddess who enacts retribution on an individual suffering hubris, or foolish pride. Or, in the immortal words of Brick Top, “Do you know what nemesis means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by an ‘orrible c**t — Apex Nature Park.” OK, he actually said “me”, but Apex Nature Park, in both its Hells Bells and Dante’s Peak iterations, is Nemesis to me. You see, I generally like to think of myself as a halfway decent Q - I cadence count with the best of them, plan ahead, visit the AO prior to Qing, can usually run a workout that is inclusive and challenging, and even write most of my backblasts. Then, along comes a Q down south and Nemesis is waiting with her bridges closed for “construction” and her “let’s switch the launch site of an AO Beaker’s only been to three times, admittedly a LONG time ago, to a different parking lot altogether” to catch me in my hubris. Of the 6 or so Qs I have signed up for down there, I have only completed one successfully, and even for that one the PAX in attendance may question whether or not 3.2 miles was a successful kettlebell Q. Regardless, Nemesis serves her purpose, reminding me of the need for humility and grace in dealing with my fellow men/Qs. I only hope that she wallops them enough so they have grace for me on days like today.
Beakers Beginnings (Not the Warm-up today)
So, since I missed the warm-up this morning, and since I am writing the backblast, you won’t hear anything about what the PAX did in my absence. Instead, you will be treated to the comedy of errors that was my drive to Hells Bells. It begins simply enough, with a casual drive down Green Level Church Road, past the finest AOs in NW Cary on Tuesday and Thursday mornings. Windows down, music loud…I was really getting excited to bring such a great beatdown to the ApexPAX. Right turn onto Olive Chapel and all was well, 0523 and 2 minutes more to go. Apex Barbecue Road Detour End. That’s weird, I’m not even on Apex Barbecue Road. Road closed in 1000ft. Huh, well, I am pretty sure the entrance is closer than 10………….no, no it is not. That’s ok, I will just duck into this neighborhood here and zip through to the other side…..Olive Chapel?! In the immortal words of Mickey the Piker, “Fer F***k’s Sake!” All right, I see on the map there is another way into the park. Finally, something is going right, and I am only 2 minutes late. With any luck, they will still be assembled in the lot figuring out what to do. That’s weird, one car and no one in the shelter. Now the words of Gorgeous George are ringing in my ear, “If you know what’s good for you, you will stay down!” Part of me was ready to pack it up, go home, back to sleep, and let Nemesis win again. Instead, like Mickey the Piker, I decided to master my own destiny. I drove up to the upper lot and found the PAX about 10-15 minutes into the workout. I thanked Earhart for his services and took it from there.
Beaker’s Beatdown (The Thang)
Although the PAX looked like Earhart was doing a great job, they were far too stationary. Partner up. Partner 1 jogs for 5 pull-ups (full extension) while partner 2 AMRAPS some KB swings. 5 merkins together when partner 1 returns, then flip-flop. Repeato.
Same thing, but overhead presses. Repeato.
Same thing, but lawn mower right and lawn mower left.
That was enough for my warm-up, so it was time to bring the real fun. Carry the bells back up and line them up in the middle of the parking lot. I brought a few extra coupons to add to the mix. Split into two teams, one team on each side of the lot. Bear crawl to the bells, pick one up, and bunny hop back. For five minutes. Once all the middle ones were gone, you had to go all the way to the other team’s side to retrieve. For five minutes. At the end of the five minutes, the team with the most bells won and earned the right to do five burpees. Or, rather, earned the right not to do 5 Bell-pees, which is what the losers did. Round 1 went to team 2, round 2 went to team 1. Yes, we played twice. If I had showed up on time, it would have been a best of seven series.
Beaker’s Bellies (The Mary)
Just enough time left for low. slow. flutters. That was all she wrote.
Beaker’s Benediction (The COT)
COR/NOR: 15 (2 respects, 8 mehs, and 83 hates - or at least it felt that way)
Quiet on both announcements and prayer requests, except for PAX continuing to struggle with pain and needing healing
YHC took us out. It was great to see some new (to me) faces and be back in the Peak of Good Living. Although I give Nemesis a hard time, it really is a great AO. I know I will be back, probably right about the time I have accumulated a fair amount of hubris.
Beaker’s BS (The NMS)
Pivot - next themed Q = Snatch
Even though I was only there for 35 minutes or so, my shoulders and back feel that was sufficient.
Speaking of Snatch, there is very little in this world that my M finds funnier than Tyrone triyng to park the car. “It was at a funny angle!” “It was behind you, Tyrone, that’s where things come from when you go in reverse!” Classic Tyrone.
There is very little I find funnier than her reaction to Tyrone
Pull-up bars should be mandated at all AOs….yo’ Nantan!
I didn’t miss a single turn on the way home