Interesting morning, to say the least. We had an FNG who was invited by “Kyle”, but had no idea what Kyle’s last name was. We had a gaggle of SCary PAX, umm, gift us the Ghost Flag? I’m a little lost on the specifics there, but I don’t really care. And evidently, neither does anyone else. Alas, pour Ghost Flag. You had a good run, pal.
The PAX circled up at 0530, milling around for another 2 minutes until we started. The SCary guys were a little miffed, however the regulars tried to put their minds at ease. “Look, he’ll get started in a minute. Oh, and don’t take it personally if he doesn’t do the pledge of allegiance. He’s not anti-patriotism, he’s just an idiot. He always yells something incoherent about 5 core principles and a pledge not being on the list, but if you just ignore him for a couple of minutes, he usually loses his train of thought and moves onto something else. It’s fine. He’s fine. Really, he is.”
From there, we ran over to the Middle School and circled up for…
WARM UP
NOTE: This is the copy/paste portion of the backblast
Side straddle hop x 15
Good mornings x3 down the center, 1 to the left, 1 to the right, then one last one down the middle
Down to plank, the calf stretch, followed by runner’s stretch on that side, then open the inside hand to the sky
Back to plank, and repeat on the opposite side
Merkins x 15
Squats x 15
THE THANG
So, uhh…this happened 4 days ago, and I’m pretty sure no one who was there is going to remember exactly what we did, so I’ma take a few liberties here. Not on purpose, mind you, but because my memory is garbage since having kids.
We went to the Evans Road end of the school where there’s a number of parking spaces arrayed longitudinally. At each one, we stopped and did Merkins, Squats, or LBCs in repetitions of 5. We lunge walked between each space. This took ~7 minutes.
From there, we headed to the baseball field and partnered up. One PAX held a People’s Chair on the fence while the other partner bear crawled from home plate to first base, then flap jack. We did this twice. Next one partner ran the bases while the other did BTTW on the fence. Again, each partner did the cycle twice. At some point, we also did some rounds of side shuffling, but again, the ol’ brain doesn’t work quite like it used to. Sleep deprivation is a silent assassin. Anyway, all this took ~7 minutes.
At this point, YHC looks at the watch and determines that time is standing still. It felt like it should have been at least 6am, but it was barely 20 minutes into the workout. I really should have planned something, I told myself scornfully. Way to go, asshead.
That’s right, even my internal monologue considers me a HATE.
But that’s alright. Improv is something I do best. Well, I say best, but that’s a little gracious if I’m being honest. If you’ve ever heard me holler at Dolly, you know it’s about a 64% hit rate. But hey, I don’t see you trying it.
Anyway - good grief, another consequence of sleep deprivation is that my attention span is about 42 seconds - we headed over to the basketball court for some more partner work. One guy ran up the berm while the other did some sort of Mary. On the real, I have to apologize to the PAX for that mishap. Turns out the court was absolutely covered in goose shit. Not F3 Goose, but little-G goose. Nasty little suckers. Again, this took ~19 seconds, so when YHC checked the watch again, somehow time was literally going backward and said we’d been working out for negative 12 minutes. I may or may not have let a few choice words come out of my mouth at that discovery.
From there, we ran around the back end of the school and over to the park. YHV gave into the impulse to check the watch again and cussed once more. More partner work, then, including a few more pickle runs and rando exercises. Finally, blessedly, time ran out. Have a nice day.
COT
Count-o-rama: 15
Name-o-rama: still 15
Announcements: lol, like I’m gunna remember
Prayers: There were a few and YHC took us out
NMS
Welcome, Nathan, to the gloom! Nathan hails from the Pittsburgh area, has a few kids and a wife, and he’s got a fourth kiddo on the way, due on Thanksgiving Day. Hence the name, Baster. Like turkey baster. A few unruly PAX asked if he was a master at that particular skill, basting I mean. “If you can’t say your F3 name in church…” warned the founding father of the Mount Rushmore of Intellectual F3 PAX, Pierogi. Of course, he has a point. So we’re just going to leave it at Baster.
Thanks for allowing me to lead. See you in the gloom.
-Callahan