Lionel Ritchie Will Not Win


Star Date: Aug 1, 2018

QIC: Frisco

PAX: Frisco

Welcome to Sin City where hotel rooms are adorned with life-sized pictures of scantily clad women and wall paper that looks like it was from a 1950’s pin up calendar.  Luckily the 2.0 still accepts answers like “well she’s wearing that bear skin rug because she’s cold”.  So much for the upgraded room—means different things in different parts of the country, I guess.

Before I left I got some advice on workouts to take with me.  After I discounted anything that sounded hard I was left with something called a MURPH from Liverpool.  It’s vacation—a little relaxing isn’t a crime.  Let’s get MURPHing!

The Warm-Up:

Apparently the city that never sleeps (alone) doesn’t hit the gym before 530am.  No FNGs.

1 mile mosey on a treadmill at 10 min/mile.  No, let’s try that at 12 mins. Ok so far so good.

  • Sir Fazio Arm Circles
  • Peter Parkers
  • Burpees
  • Cherry pickers
  • Good morning
  • Side Straddle Hops

The Thang:

Time to look up this MURPH thing.  Hmm 100 pull ups, 200 merkins and 300 squats.  That seems a little hard actually…let’s read over it again.  Q hears the maniacal laughter of Liverpool echoing in his head.

PAX comments that there are no pull-up bars and starts grumbling.  Q hears Thiesmann’s voice in his head  (“Frisco there is perfectly good railing out on the balcony to use.”).  WWW suddenly pops up on the Q’s other shoulder (“Seriously, Frisco!?!  Hanging from a railing with those tooth pick arms?”)

Q makes the wise choice however and goes with WWW’s advice not to hang off of a building (ok yes after pushing and kicking on the door to the outside balcony for 3 minutes and giving up).

Q calls an audible and the PAX grabs two dumbbells for 100 arm curls instead, happy to have direction again.  PAX goes for the 15 lb-ers for each arm but sees Red Ryder shaking his head reminding Frisco that he almost passed out at the last HB with a just a 25-lb KB.  (“What does that guy know?!”)

10 curls later PAX begins moaning about the amount of weight.  Q considers sending him back for lesser weights but now realizes other people have staggered at some point to work off the previous night’s vices and stolen all of the lesser weights.

Well nothing for it.  Q calls sets of 10 curls, 20 merkins, 40 squats.  One squat per arm count as 1 rep—the PAX starts in with the mumble-chatter and groaning.  In his head Q hears Hi-Liter, Squatter and every other person that has Q-ed a Frisco-attended workout.  (“Serves him right!  Mumble chattering after just two reps!  How do you like it, Frisco!”)

Q ignores the voices in his head and the mumble-chatter from the PAX.  Then he feels a sharp pain in his shin like a kick and looks up to see Squatter running off and twisting his handle bar mustache as he does.

Eventually the Q takes pity on the PAX and remembers another of Liverpool’s suggestions—stair-climbing to recover.  Over to the stair climbers for a relaxing quarter mile climb and then back to the Thang.

Q notices a clock on the wall and that 45 mins have already gone by.  Kind of a handy thing maybe we should put up clocks around all the AO’s.  Hi-Liter is obviously not using his so we can borrow that one for sure.  

PAX is really mumbling now so another quarter mile break.  Disco Duck points out the banner across the street that says Lionel Ritchie is in town and then PAX’s concentration is shot.  Q tells the PAX to get back in the game and tosses in penalty burpees for good measure.  Q / PAX’s arms notice how burpees have some uncomfortable similarities to merkins.  PAX: “Can we count those?“. Q: “You want more burpees on top of those?  I didn’t think so.”

Home stretch now!  50 grueling merkins left but suddenly the Q realizes that he’s at 300 squats!  Yay let’s hear it for bad math!  Now it’s all just a mental game.  Q allows the PAX to do sets of 10 merkins mixed with LBCs to get over the finish line.  Go team!

MARY:

  • dying cockroaches
  • American Hammers with a 12 lb medicine ball (“I hate Crimson!!“)
  • Homer to Marge (wrong message to send in Vegas)
  • Chill cuts
  • More American Hammers (“I am going to punch Crimson next time I see him!”)
  • Finally Have Nice Day (Q assures by-standers that the PAX is fine.  That section of the gym is oddly empty.)

Announcements:

Need a new AO for my injured reserve brothers.  The thought of losing them from the gloom cuts YHC in a way he wouldn’t have thought possible 3 months ago before Sooey EH-Ed him into F3.  YHC has reached out to a few PAX to get thoughts and guidance. Scheduled some visits to the Raleigh IR.  Once something worth taking to the NANTAN is assembled it will be sent up for his consumption.

Praises/Prayers:

The ones from the last few weeks that I could remember.  My own struggles with my M and our relationship (2 steps forward, 3 steps back and all that).  That my brothers in Carpex and the ones they love are in His hands.

COT:

YHC took the PAX out with a knee and a quick prayer.  Couple of side long looks from the other gym goers but also a couple of nods.  Maybe some FNGs for tomorrow…?

NMS:

Not much to say.  Ole Frisco is the strong silent type.