One of the things I am known for is being a tougher Q than Prodigal. Actually that is true for all the P-named Qs: Parker, PBX, Pierogi, Pa Bell, Pow Pow, PWERTY, Pisco Puck, Pater Wings, Pquatter… The list goes on and on. So when I Q I know there is a certain standard I need to shoot for to inspire those guys.
Claymore on Christmas Eve was originally supposed to be Q-ed by Pred Pryder. But unfortunately due to an injury at BH last week when it got shot up with Nerf bullets in an anonymous drive-by he was unable to perform. Also he was unable to Q at Claymore so I stepped in to pick up the 5.
When I arrived I saw the Crimson and Traffic Cone had apparently run the 10 miles in from their neighborhood since Crimson doesn’t drive and Traffic Cone is notoriously cheap (he actually fakes being out of gas so random bystanders will help him push his car to work every day). Unfortunately, limited run Claymore is also limited space to turn around and drive out so leaving was not an option.
The PAX were wandering around aimlessly without my leadership and bumping into light poles and other things. So I planted the flag to give them a single thing to bump into while we waited for 5:30.
With 3 minutes to go up walks 1-4 and his FIL Re-entry.
“I’m Frisco,” I said, holding out my hand.
Re-entry immediately launched into that Clint Eastwood monologue from Heart Break Ridge. The one about eating concertina wire and chewing nails and things. I started to point out that I recognized the monologue but 1-4 shook his head so I let Re-entry finish. (Okay, maybe Re-entry just said “Hi” but I could see it in his eyes he wanted to do that Eastwood monologue.)
It was time to start so I outsourced the Pledge to Disco Duck to give him some practice. I had originally planned to do the entire workout next to the flag but Crimson began complaining about his knees. Even without Press-On there we were Respect-heavy so I was worried what that could degenerate into. Instead we did a quick mosey over to the far side of the AO (about 15 feet from the flag).
Warm Up (Partially Outsourced to give the PAX some Q practice)
Good Mornings x1 (Yes, 1. It took Crimson five minutes to get through one rep)
SSH x25
Sir Reginald Fazio Arm Circles (make them bigger) x10 forward x10 backward
Standard Merkins x10
Seal Claps
Liverpool Seal Claps (Overhead claps)
Maybe some other stuff
Thang 1: Merkins to Prepare for Leg Day (Partially Outsourced to the PAX in case I wanted to play some Candy Crash on my phone)
Staggered Hand Merkins, x5L, x5R
Peter Parker Merkin (bring leg in on down) x10
Vanilla Merkins x10
—- Dying Cockroaches (Disco refused to do V-Ups) x20—
—- Freddie Mercury x30—
Scorpion Merkins x5 each leg
Finger Tip Merkin x10
Knuckle Merkin (knerkin) x10
—- V-UP (1-4 manned up and led V-Ups after a stern look from his FIL) x20—
—- Freddie Mercury x30—
The Bruce Merkins (One leg stacked on the other, flapjack legs) 5 each leg
Copperhead Merkin (slow on down 4 count) x10
Twerkin (down dog, go under fence) x10
—- V-UP x20—
—- Freddie Mercury x30—
Thang 2: Partner DORA (Pair up in 3s)
50 standard Merkins
100 Dying Cockroaches
200 Squats
Thang 3: A few more Merkins so that we don’t ignore the arms on Leg Day
Booyah! Merkin – touch partner’s shoulder x5
Partner Clap (alternate hands) x5
Partner Derkin – one planks, other merkins feet on back x5, flip-flop
—- Dying Cockroaches x20—
—- Freddie Mercury x30—
Thang 4: A few more Merks in preparation for Leg Day
Mosey to the other side of the AO (about 4 feet)
Derkins on the fence so 1-4 could show off for his FIL x10
Derkins on the fence so that I could show off for 1-4’s FIL x10
Mosey to the rock pile for some Rock Merkins to get ready for leg day
Rock Work (Outsourced to the PAX because I needed a break after all of the outsourcing to the PAX)
Unfortunately, time was running out on Leg Day. It was time to call some leg exercises to get Leg Day ended and we had to do some Mary…
Mary: PAX choice (Outsourced to the PAX because I could tell they felt like they hadn’t got much chance to lead)
COT
Count-a-rama: 1 Silver Bullet, 4 Respects, 3 Mehs
Announcements:
Lions Den open on Christmas Day, normal time
Press-On hosting Christmas for any guys that want to come by (DM him for details)
Prayers and Praises:
Judy, Disco’s MIL, is in the hospital. I believe they have ruled out stroke but are still figuring out what is going on. Prayers for his M Kelly as well.
NMS
It was great to roll into the Wake Zone for 2nd F and see about half of Carpex parked in the parking lot. Maybe it’s all the Kool-Aid but there is something inspiring seeing so many guys out. When I walked in I got a sense of peace and joy. These are men I have EC run or done EC Pull-ups with EC with. Men that I have confided in, worked out with, and enjoyed their company. It is humbling, comforting and uplifting to be a part of this group of HIMs.
These 2nd F events are so important. I see guys I knew from back in May ‘18 when I started and realize how long it has been since I’ve seen them. I have at least a few snippets of memories with all of them. A joke that I laughed so hard I fell over or word of encouragement in the gloom that got me moving again when I wanted to quit. Some advice or words of comfort after I shared something in COT. Phone calls or DMs when I hit a low place. Or stories I heard of them when they posted at other AOs (I wish I had been there when Parker had to put down a revolt). Or times I (mostly) pleasantly surprised them (Told you I could do your entire yoga Q without saying a word, Squatter!) or myself (managing to finish the first Odyssey and finishing and loving the 2nd one)
As Carpex grows bigger these events are so important to keep us Carpexy. I don’t envy Shutty’s job right now. Besides having a third-rate Comz foisted on him (love you, Sub :) our Nantan has to manage explosive growth yet maintain what created that growth in the first place. But though success brings its own challenges it is a good problem to have. As I have learned if you are going to tackle a problem, doing it with a bunch of HIMs is a h-e-double-hockey sticks (that’s a nod to Old Maid) of a lot better than doing it alone.
Been a great year, gents. In 2010 I had no idea how low or lost I would be 8 years later. And in 2018, I would have never guessed how happy I would be when I finally gave in and showed up at some workout at a skate park because Sooey wouldn’t leave me alone about it.
Happy Holidays!