YHC drove all around Koka Booth looking for the F3 Carpex workout site known as Kryptonite. Couldn’t find it. No Shovel Flag in site. Finally saw some EC runners, so followed them to the Kryptonite parking lot. No Shovel Flag. No site Qs. Definitely felt like an F3 Raleigh site. That is until YHC opened his car door: door was hardly ajar when Largemouth and Hermes started talking smack to YHC. geeez guys, it’s too early for that. And may I add, YHC stepped out of the car and the 49 degree weather felt like 35 degrees. Windy too. Frantically looking for a long sleeve in the car, alas I didn’t have one. But, did have my trusty 1989 zip-up hoody (same one I wore after winning the Cobb County high school basketball championship, same one I wore after losing the Cobb County football championship, and the same one I wore after I got smoked in the state 400 meter championship). Of note, I asked if anyone had a long sleeve I could wear instead of the jacket, but only GTL replied “yes”. For real tho, could you imaging YHCs chiseled upper body wearing GTLs scrawny lil’ shirt. No thanks. I wore the jacket.
Turns out Chipper was standing in as the Site Q. Finally, some leadership. Luckily there were no FNGs, but YHC did orate a perfect disclaimer anyway.
We jogged around the adjacent big Koka Booth parking lot, then stopped for some warm-up exercises, which YHC led in perfect cadence. (although I quickly noted that during the Saturday Nite Stretch that HGTV, Useful Engine, Full House, and Thurston all had very stiff lumbar spines—-like they hadn’t performed that motion in yeeeaaarrrs). From there we jogged over to the lake trail and performed a Native American Run (aka The Chief Knockahoma Run) in three groups of four of the U-Turn Of Death, which deposited us on Ederlee. After a few core exercises that were better than the “Core Challenge”, we jogged up Ederlee Hill and did a few HRM on the way. From there, the PAX were led to the upper parking garage lot of whatever business that is, which is exactly where we found 2 perfectly long Agility Ladders (after a bad impersonation or two) I won’t let you in on the specifics of the agility and explosive exercises that the PAX performed, but it was glaring and indisputable that the PAX that were there today are in serious need of improving their footwork and lateral abilities. It was clear to me that the dudes who run The Cleaver and The Maynard have never run anything but straight their whole lives. Also of note: Chanticleer and Mayflower look like those inflatable tube men/air dancers when performing agility…..and not in a good way.
Once the Agility Ladder disaster, we moseyed over to the bottom of the parking lot and partnered up. It was right then and there, that we performed partner Gassers // B.O.M.B.S.
After a few bad impersonations, we moved to the next item.
The water bottles made an appearance next. “But Flip Flop, we don’t have time to do that”, the PAX whined. We had plenty of time. So, we did a three line Gasser with the water in our mouths. Easy.
Then all of the sudden, the PAX were super worried we wouldn’t make it back to the invisible Shovel Flag on time. seriously a lot of complaining and whining. We would make it back in time…..if everyone would run at a faster pace than they run The (stupid) Cleaver. Kryptonite is “high-tempo”, right?
COT:
Count-a-rama: 12
Name-a-rama: Mehs and Respects
Announcements: TCP Sawgrass in 2 weeks (Sunday was a success!)
Prayers: Eric (Chipper’s friend), How-How, Michelob
Kryptonite Reflection
YHC took us out.
Nekkid Mole Skin
* Chipper was a superb fill in Site-Q. He had hot coffee ready to serve!
* Joe Smith constantly complained about needing tissues on site.
* Speaking of coffeeteria: the PAX were about to lose their mind about getting back to the Shovel Flag a couple minutes late. I felt horrible about it; thought I was making guys late to get home to tend to kids or late to work. However, after COT, all 12 dudes just lollygagged around and drank coffee for 20 minutes. geeeez, what was the rush.
* We would have been back on time if YHC hadn’t performed a few bad impersonations of a few select PAX members: Largemouth, GTL, and Hermes. A quick check on my Strava revealed that these impersonations only took 2 minutes and 11 seconds away from the workout, which is the exact amount of time we were over time. Interestingly tho, a quick check on Strava also revealed that during said impersonation, GTL and Largemouth’s heart rate increased by 38 beats per minute (they were super pissed!). More interesting tho, was that when I impersonated Hermes, his heart rate never changed: stayed at 197 beats per second.
twas a pleasure,
Flip Flop