December 1st, 2018
QICs: Disco Duck, Frisco
PAX: Banjo, Bed Pan, Blood Sport, Chelsea, Crimson, Flat Head, Kermit, Laker, Pickin’ N‘ Grinnin’, Sooey, Stetch, WWW
At the Odyssey back in October, Pickin’ N’ Grinnin’ from JoCo ran with and supported his Carpex brothers. In COT, he called out that F3 JoCo was looking to grow and asked if Carpex might send some of their best and brightest to post and Q. So two Carpex legendary Qs stepped forward to take up the mantle of brotherhood and bring the pain south.
A clown car notice went out and our Natan, Ma Bell, went through a long list of potential PAX that he felt could properly represent the Carpex region. After many interviews, applications, rejections and a more than few tears and appeals a team of ambassadors known as the “Select Six” was created. (Banjo was a last minute, unofficial addition because by some obscure Appalachian mountain kin rules he and the Nantan are either 3rd cousins or fraternal twins depending by whether you are on the Tennessee side or Kentucky side of the mountain range.)
The Select Six assembled early at the Food Lion. As expected Crimson started in with demands for a side trip to the Waffle House. Luckily, YHC came prepared with a chocolate bar with 55 grams of fiber so our resident Respect was satisfied (downside was that the ride down was a little…pungent). Our driver, Sooey, turned the radio to his favorite talk radio station but after the second time we all fell asleep and almost veered off the road it was decided to kick it up a notch (or 10). Again, YHC was prepared with a playlist (made one for the ride down and one for the ride back I did). From there on out it was pretty much like that scene in Wayne’s World when they were all singing Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen—which by the way was on the “Ride down” soundtrack. (Surprisingly, Kermit is a bass while WWW is a passable falsetto. The things you learn about people…).
Once we arrived at the Mad Mule AO the other Select Six went off to plant the Tortoises’ and Dante’s Peak shovel flags alongside the Mad Mule flag while YHC and Disco Duck shook hands with the site-Q, Stretch. We apologized in advance for Banjo and then set off to explore. Mad Mule is a great site with a track around it full of evil light poles, shelters with benches for dips and other madness, pull up bars, lots of grass and asphalt, and what on Google Maps looked like a giant green double pe…um, giant green double pickle platform (Duck ruined it for me by pointing out that it was actually just a green colored basketball court). MM is also very Bruiser-friendly since it has 100% visibility from any location on the site: a Q can always see where the Bruisers are and they can see where the Q is taking the PAX in case they want to join up. (Though this would bite YHC in the butt a little later on). A quick circuit of the site and Duck and I were back at the shovel flags meeting the JoCo PAX who had begun arriving. One JoCo guy introduced himself as “Blood Sport” and Duck immediately decided that I should take the first shift.
It was time to bring the pain. It was time to drop the Frisco-Disco Ball (Dancing Queen by Abba was on the Ride Back playlist. Sooey knew all the words. Go figure.)
Warm Up:
Mosey to the nearby parking lot
- 5 burpees OYO
- Side Straddle Hops
- Called Imperial Walkers but did Hilly Billy’s just throw the PAX off and get the M-C started #SignatureFriscoMove
- Hilly Billys
- Cherry Pickers (that’s right “cherry”, you RBs!!)
- Sir Fazio Arm Circles (forward and backwards)
We had one late PAX which I rewarded with 14 burpees.
YHC noticed Crimson signaling for Good Mornings but skipped them because I didn’t want to show weakness in front of the JoCo PAX (i.e., by having to run over and help Crimson stand up straight again) especially not after I noticed that Blood Sport had picked up Sooey’s car as an ego rock and brought it with him.
The Thang 1:
On Friday at Dante’s Peak, Parker dealt out some serious pain with his introduction (new to me at least) of Hell Squats combined with Bear Crawls. As I am not above stealing I took it and made a DORA with it.
DORA:
Partner Up
100 Merkins, 200 Hell Squats, 300 LBCs
Partner 1: Bear Crawl across the parking lot and Lunge Walk back
Partner 2: Knock out DORA exercises
Flapjack
Note: I am someone who gives credit where credit is due. So once I heard the hate the PAX had for the Hell Squats I immediately told them it was Parker’s invention and gave them the make, model and license plate of his truck as well as where he normally posts. In case they wanted to thank him personally.
Once we finished Thang 1 about half the time was gone. I called a mosey intent on getting some time at the giant green double pe…um, giant green double pickle platform…um, I mean, green basketball court. As we were moseying I noticed WWW and Bed Pan heading off on a side track towards the court. I decided to slow the PAX and give Bruisers time to get to the court so I stopped midfield at some bleachers and called dips. Which was good until I noticed my Bruisers had stopped as well and found some fences to join in the dips remotely. Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Start to mosey towards the double trouble mean green pickle platform and then I remembered that Duck was looking forward to being the one to introduce the JoCo PAX to World’s Worst Merkins. So I called a halt and introduced World’s Worst Merkins and called for 30. The Mumble Chatter went off the charts once the PAX mentally did the math and worked that out that it was 90 push-ups. They had just finished 100 shared merkins in the DORA so YHC took pity on the PAX and let them off with 8.
Finally, all of the PAX arrived at the double green pickle pounder platform and I handed over the PAX to my assistant-to-the-Q, Disco Duck, and joined the rank-and-file.
Thang 2:
Ten burpees to celebrate the arrival at the bubble double green giant pickle packing platform.
Partner up again.
Partner 1: balls to the wall
Partner 2: Runs suicide sprints on the basketball court
(Two rounds each)
Thang 3:
Leave the giant green double bubble Peter piper picked a peck of pickled peppers platform and mosey over to the track at the back of the park to line up for escalating light poles
Round 1: Start with three monkey humpers, increase by 3 at each light pole then mosey back decreasing by 3
Repeato with merkins
Repeato with star jumps
Thang 4:
Partner up again
Partner 1: bear crawls towards the shovel flags
Partner 2: runs to the shelter and back to Partner 1
Flapjack and continue until all PAX are in the shelter
MARY:
Luckily, we had a few minutes left for Mary so we circled up for some Carpex favorites (and because we wanted to make sure Squatter was hated across South Wake as well for his beloved 100s).
Freddie Mercury
One-legged Homer-to-Marge
Squatter’s 100s
Have A Nice Day
COT
Count:
4 Respects, 10 Mehs, and no Hates (though Chelsea couldn’t remember if he was 36 or 38 and he looks about 20 so I’ll let the JoCo guys call that one where they want)
Announcements:
Open invitation to Carpex PAX to come to JoCo and post or Q (so apparently Disco and I didn’t completely hose it up).
JoCo CSAUP expected in Spring 2019. To quote Bed Pan: “There will be mud. One thing Johnson County has lots of is mud.” If that’s not a back handed challenge to our Rucking boys I don’t know what is. Watch Twitter (or something called Facebook) for updates.
Prayers and Praises:
Prayers for the earthquake victims in Alaska. The JoCo guys knew a few people who were either up there or had recently been. Lack of power in some places—not a great situation to be in during the winter in Alaska.
Flat Head is getting married in 4 weeks. Prayers for a happy marriage!
NMS:
The Clown Car to JoCo was a ton of fun and there was great 2nd F with the rest of the Select Six (they even drew straws twice to see who would get to sit in the back with YHC on the ride home to Carpex). I really enjoyed the fellowship, the chattering and laughing with the JoCo guys. It speaks a lot to the power of F3 that you can put 14 men together in a workout and see how quickly they gel into a hard working, mumble-chattering beast that supports and encourages each other. I was partnered with Laker during my Q and Duck’s and have to say I thoroughly like that guy. We worked our butts off in the Hell Squat DORA and Duck’s balls to the wall/sprint Thang at the giant double trouble green bubble pickle pounder platform. His level of grumble-chatter was off-the-hook and made some crappy exercises a lot more fun (remember JoCo crew that is “Parker”, spelled like it sounds). Also, great 2nd F with the JoCo PAX afterwards. It is a good group of HIMs there with a strong core and I am glad they are growing. The community will gain so much by their leadership and that of the guys they EH. It was a privilege to be able to Q for those HIMs!
Special thanks to my Co-Q, Disco Duck. He walked beside me through my last Forrest Gump-style limp-run mile of the Odyssey in October and supported the JoCo clown car idea and helped turn it into a reality in December. True HIM.