‘Twas a chilly morning for the first annual Carpex Triple Down featuring a Ruck, F3 Phoenix, and FiA Moneypenny. Then there was also F3 Dads to boot (yes, that’s how you spell it; it’s not ’ta boot’ or ’taboot’ or any other of the bastardized versions I’ve seen afloatin’ around the interwebs). But I digress.
YHC rolled in at t0 with some B-52s rocking the ol pickup. A few minutes later (we’ll call it t1) 12ish of us embarked on a cluster ruck (Triple Down Part 1) while a few others embarked on some runs. And by cluster ruck, I mean Cadre Andy appointed some leaders who had us spread out all over creation with casualties a’ plenty. But we made it back to the flag - albeit bloodied and battered and coupons in tow - in time for Phoenix…
…when what to my wondering eye should appear but a miniature PAX and a hideous hat. Oh dear!
Phoenix (Triple Down Part 2)
YHC must have looked disheveled because Kitty took the reigns and led the PAX in some plank-o-rama. I had barely recovered from the site of aforementioned hideous hat when my counterpart she-Nan’tan of FiA Carpex Nation rolled up hot. What in the wild, wild world of sports is a’ goin’ on here? At t2, YHC snapped out of said daze, called an end to Kitty’s mutinous planking and promptly called 5 penalty burpees for the tardiness. I mean, nobody is above the law amirite? Then 5 more burpees for someone having the audacity to sport a unc lid at my Q. And on game day? That cannot go unpunished amirite?
Follow me over to the community center parking lot for some warm-ups including GMs, Sir Fazio Arm Circles, Moroccan Night Clubs, O/H Claps, Prisoner Squats and, of course, Merkins - all done with proper cadence. This is always important, but especially so as you’ll find out later. Read on. Over to the road where we did a little forward and back lightpole progression down the far intersection. Two poles forward starting with 2 Merkins, run backward 1 pole and do 1 squat. Continue this pattern adding 2 Merkins and Squats each time. Merkins AMRAP when you reach the stop sign. Once all PAX were there, hop over the gate headed toward the boathouse and plank it out Cackalackey Choochoo style. One progression through was enough with 34 PAX. On to the big shelter where we partnered up for some Dora. 100 Irkins, 200 V-Ups, and 300 Prisoner Squats as a pair while one partner runs the loop out one end and back in the other. We all finished at the same-ish time.
Follow me down the path to the amphitheater and over to the kiosk. But first, 5 burpees for daring to wear the unc lid at my Q, then backward run up the hill. Squat it out at the top. You know, I just didn’t think the PAX’ heart was in that backward run. Back down the hill! Aforementiond PAXette with the hideous lid tried to turn it backward hoping to avoid more burpees. Anyone who knows me knows what happened next. 5 burpees for having the audacity to wear a unc lid at my Q! Then - this time with some feeling, people! - backward run up the hill. Much better.
Jog it over to the stop sign where we did some Merkins then Billy Ran back to the flag for some Mary. Do FiA call it Mary? Either way, we did some Hello Dollys, American Hammers, LBCs and, of course Merkins - all in proper cadence - followed by Have a Nice Day. That hideous unc lid was still there, taunting me. 5 more penalty burpees for having the audacity to wear a unc lid at my Q!
COT - 34 strong F3 and FiA PAX. Many RESPECTs and some mehs. Announcements, prayer requests, and BAP (ball of PAX). YHC took us out in prayer.
FiA Moneypenny (Triple Down Part 3)
During refreshments in between Phoenix and Moneypenny, we lost some PAX and gained some PAX - including 2 FNGs. And we cooled down significantly. That wouldn’t last. At t3, Cannonball led the PAX down to the tiny shelter by the back ball fields where she led us in some warm-up exercises and a ramp of 5 or 6 exercises, one of which no human man can perform and many of which most of us F3 PAX were too uncoordinated to perform, much to the delight of our FiA sisters. OK, so here’s where the proper cadence counting comes in. Apparently, there is no concept of starting an exercise with “starting position move, in cadence, exercise” in FiA. Cannonball called the exercise and then we were doing it, then called the next exercise and we were doing it. After some groaning, Peachtree called us F3 men a bunch of sissies. We piped down after that.
After Cannonball was done, Fullback took over and led us back up the road and down to the kiosk where she had told us to get a rock and take it over to the boathouse parking lot. Once there, we got into groups of 3 where we did some shuttling of said rocks to the far reaches of said parking lot while the other 2 did various partner/hand clap merkins and partner/hand clap sumo squats. YHC made a mental note for this. After two rounds of this, we shuttled our rocks back to the rock pile. While a few of us stopped to take pictures of a group who had assembled at the kiosk for some sort of celebration involving coffee and doughnuts, the rest ran over along the base of the dam and to the path back to the tiny shelter by the back ball fields. [Note: one guy handed me Samsung camera to take pictures. I don’t know how to operate no Samsung camera so I pretended to take pictures. Hopefully, they came out OK on the other camera that Pet Sounds was handed].
Anyway, once we got to the tiny shelter, Peachtree led us in some killer core exercises tabata style. The feature exercise was Sparky Crabs.
COT - Mosey over to adjacent parking lot. 23 strong F3 and FiA PAX. Many RESPECTs, some mehs, and 2 Hate (I don’t think they do Hate in FiA) FNGs (Heinz and Jazz Hands). Announcements, prayer requests, and BAP (ball of PAX). Pet Sounds graciously took us out in prayer.
Thanks to all who came out and participated in any or all of the Triple Down, including Beanie from South Wake! I considered it an honor to be among such HIM and HIW for 3+ hours.