Seriously, Gran Torino has gone to pot. Remember when some of the PAX joked on Slack that DangerZone needed an overhaul. “Make DZ Great Again”, the PAX said. But it was a joke. Gran Turdino is in a downward spiral. For real. It’s out of whack and in need of repair. In short, they needed me to Make GT Great Again, and that’s exactly what I did.
Honestly, I didn’t realize how whack Gran Turdino had become. It started last night when I planned to look through the recent GT BackBlasts to make sure I didn’t replicate a recent workout. So I log into the F3 Carpex site and pull up the GT BackBlasts. This is what I find: the last time YHC Q’d at GT was 7-24-20. And get this: there was only one other BackBlast written since that time. I mean, is this even a real F3 AO?
Oh, this is where I realize the wheels have come off completely at GT. Workout starts at 5:30 a.m. YHC gets there ~3 min early and starts looking for the Shovel Flag. Can’t find it, so I just parked near where it should be. There’s a couple guys standing around. No Shovel Flag. It’s 5:30 now. No Shovel Flag. YHC and two guys are ready to start…….but there are 7 other guys milling around their cars….some are changing shoes…..some are casually talking. Nobody was in a rush….at all. YHC commands that we are starting. This guys are sloooowly walking over to the spot where the Shovel Flag should be. No Shovel Flag. One scraggily Site-Q. But at least we can start now….it’s like 5:33. Can you imagine if Dredd woulda been there? ahhh, shit!
YHC gives one of the best disclaimers ever and orates F3’s Mission verbatim. First exercise: Pledge of Allegiance. But wait, no Shovel Flag. smh. At this point, it’s 5:35 and then the scraggily Site-Q has gall to remind me, “Flip Flop, don’t forget there is a required three mile minimum here”. Oh, ok thanks. I had a good mind to remind scraggily Site-Q that there is also a requirement for a Shovel Flag, his responsibility for orderly PAX, starting on time, and BackBlast documentation. But I bit my tongue. I calmed down.
Then what we did next was simply amazing. YHC Made GT Great Again. I led the PAX in one of the top 3 greatest beatdowns that Gran Torino has ever had. Naturally, I led all 3 of those beatdowns.
You want the juicy details of the beatdown that your Fitness Leader executed on the PAX? You want to know the details of the greatest warm-up exercises ever that were led in perfect cadence? You want to hear about Thang 1, Thang 2, Thang 3, and Thang 4? Well, I’m not going to tell you. Perhaps I’ll leak a couple small details….like the Saturday Nite Stretch during the warm-up, and the fact that YHC led Ma Bell in his first ever trail run, and the intricacies of only breathing out of your nose while running ~300 meters, and the fact that YHC supplied everyone with water not to drink, and the fact that we performed Agility Ladder exercises in the dark, and the fact that we covered the paltry GT “required minimum” distance, and the fact that Denali complained the whole time, and the fact that after the Beatdown the PAX stood around in the parking lot participating in coffeeteria, and the fact that the total time the PAX standing around before and after the workout equaled more time than the actual workout.
To summarize, YHC turned Gran Turdino back to Gran Torino and Made GT Great Again!
luvyou,
Flip Flop (that’s singular)