CARPEx Odyssey 2017

PAX: Angry Elf, Aquaman [Greenville], Ascot, Bartman, Beaker, Bogo, Build-A-Bear, Callahan, Chef Tell [Churham], Disco Duck, Earhart, ET [Churham], Etrade [Raleigh] <hate>, Farva [S. Wake], Flacco, Flip Flop, Franklin, Freebird, Frey daddy [Raleigh], GTL, Hello Kitty, Hermes, Hi-Liter, Jiggly Puff <hate>, Kermit <hate>, Khakis, Largemouth, Lulu <hate>, Malpractice, Mississippi <hate>, Monkey Nut, Nightshift [Churham], Old Maid, Ollie, Open Out, Pierogi, Repeato, Riptide, Saban, Shut-In, Skyblue, Sooey, Sooner <hate>, Sosa, Soul Glow [Raleigh], Sour Mash, Tecumseh, Texas Ranger, Water Wings, Wilber, WKRP       RESPECTS: Banjo, Biner, Burt, Coney, Crimson, Double D [SWake], Goose, Grinch, Kilmer, Michelob, Pickles, Term Paper, Yogi

SAG: Bamm Bamm [2.0], Bocephus, Cee-Lo, Chinese Downhill, Pet Sounds, Pinto, Shank, Stove Pipe, guest Drone Operator

64 pax avoided the Fartsack this fine Saturday morning to get to work. The weather was beautiful, temps in the upper 60’s, sky clear. Men mobilized at the Bond Park Community Center in their newly minted highlighter orange Odyssey active wear from Apex, Cary, Churham, Fuquay Varina, Greenville, Holly Springs, Morrisville, and Raleigh to kick off the inaugural CARPEX Odyssey.

Pax arrived early enough to beat out the Cary Dog Days festival. SAG crew [water and Gatorade – CHECK, bananas etc – CHECK, safety equipment – CHECK] was set and ready to go. Each of the AO and segment Q’s had their plan. There were no FNG’s. It’s 6:00 am, we were off. Well off was just about 50 yards to the end of the parking. Just far enough to distract the pax to stop talking long enough for YHC to make some introductions, deliver some housekeeping notes, and introduce Hi-Liter to lead us in the Pledge of Allegiance and an opening prayer. YHC led the group in a brief warmup starting with the signature burpee and then split the pax into 2 groups split among the first two AOs.

AO 1: Tecumseh and Bartman at Bond Park
Each group proceeded down into open field. At the cones, lunge walk to next cone then 10 merkins. Backward lunge walk to next set of cones then group squat pulses x 15. Inch worm to last set of cones then 20 lbc and heels to Heaven.
Proceed to hill and pair up. P1 plank hold while P2 runs to top of hill for 5 burpees, then down hill and flip flop. Next partner does 4 burpees and so forth.
2nd group did the same exercises except had a little extra time after hill burpees. Group 2 circles up and perform 4:1 jack Weber for 1-5 merkins and 20 overhand claps.

AO 2: Angry Elf and Ollie at Bond Park
Group 1: Ollie; Rock and Roll
Grab a rock your mom would be proud of and head to the street.
Starting at the light pole do the following with the rock
10 x Squat and Press
At the next light post do 8x and then 6x, 4x, 2x.
At the last light pole do 1x and go back to the start 3x, 5x, 7x, 9x
Squat hold and overhead holds with the rock until all the PAX are in.

Group 2: Angry Elf and his Brotherhood of the Traveling Rocks
Mosey with rocks pack to community center parking lot. Angry Elf instructs PAX to do “traveling rocks”. Start at first tree island, side shuffle with biceps curls to next island. Drop rock and run a lap. Plank hold when back to rock, until all PAX complete lap. Plank hold for 10 count. Next rock travel: Walking lunge with side twist to next island, then run. Repeat this circuit with: Rock your body with broad jump (or step forward). Repeat with bear crawl/rock slide. Done.

Water Wings, segment Q departed Bond Park promptly at 6:45 and led the pax to Weatherstone Elementary and then through a series of Mary exercises waiting on the 6.

AO 3: Burt and Coney at Weatherstone Elementary [1.4 miles]
Water Wings, E-Trade and other young bukcs led the Pax from Bond to Weatherstone Elementary School as Burt and Coney did their best to stay near the front of the pack. Upon arrival at WES, Water Wings got us circled up and a bit of plank-a-rama while we wait for everyone to join. Burt had the Tom Petty going on the boom box. Once everyone was in, Coney provided brief instructions and things got underway. Pax did a good job at pretty even split up to the five stations placed around the track.
At each of 5 stations, 15 and 10 of each exercise, then take a lap around track before landing at next station. Exercises were:
⦁ Station 1. sumo squats and jump lunges
⦁ Station 2 merkins and Carolina dry docs
⦁ Station 3 American hammers and LBC’s
⦁ Station 4 plank jacks and crabjacks
⦁ Station 5 at tires, irkins and dips
Completed in allotted time and we were on the way!

Michelob segment Q led the group from Weatherstone, mostly along the Black Creek Greenway, to Godbold Park at a pretty good pace with Largemouth and Fry Daddy, while carrying flags. Circled up in the parking lot at Godbold – did some plank-o-rama, Shakira hip dips, and heels to heaven until everyone arrived.

AO 4: Flip Flop and Hermes at Godbold Park [3.3 miles]
Split PAX into 2 groups – ½ went for some Tennis with Flip Flop, ½ went for some basketball with Hermes.

Group 1: Hermes Thang:
⦁ BTTW on the fence, 10 count down the line (yes the entire line).
⦁ Mosey to parking lot for 7’s – Burpees and Hand Release Burpees Bear Crawling and Crawl Bearing between
⦁ Audible at about number 4: run and backwards run and hand release merkins.
⦁ Circle up – 50 Crunches in cadence
⦁ 10 One-Arm Merkins on my down each arm
⦁ Jog back past the water boys, get in 2 lines in plank position. Bear Crawl inchworm/indian run style back to the water boys.

Group 2: Flip Flop: Agility City on the tennis court:
⦁ Side shuffle around 2 courts, butt kicks around 1 court.
⦁ Partner Up:
I. Partner 1 BTTW, Partner 2 sprint to service line x 20 tandem quick feet—>sprint to net—->sprint back to service line x 20 quick feet. Flip flop x 3 sets.
II. Partner 1 People’s Chair. Partner 2 “””””””””quick side hops””””””. Flip flop x 3 sets.
III. Partner 1 BTTW. Partner 2 “”””””””””MC Hammers”””. Flip flop x 2.
IV. Partner 1 People’s Chair. Partner 2″”””””broad jump burpees””””””. Flip flop x 2 sets.

Shut-In to get the segment Q award for the most preparation, marking each of the turns along Northwood’s Greenway. Though Q failure with a number of pax continuing down W. Johnson and not turning right on Academy, despite Pet Sounds clearly holding the traffic at bay on Hwy 54.

Arrive at parking deck for mandatory water and food brake.

AO 5: Riptide and Water Wings at Cary parking deck, deliverers [4.8 miles]
Thang 1: Mosey to the top of the parking deck and partner up and gather a “Pain Stick”. P1 carries pain stick to bottom of the deck, back to the top, then down one flight. P2 completes 20 merkins and runs down the deck one level. Flap Jack x 2.

Thang 2: P1 lunge walks length of parking deck ramp. P2 AMRAP assorted Mary. Flap Jack x 2.

Return Pain sticks.

AO 6: Disco Duck and Term Paper at Cary fountain [5.4 miles]
Upon arrival at Downtown Cary Park, the honorable segment Q Hermes directs ½ the PAX to the fountain and the other ½ to the street to Cary Arts Center.

Group 1: Arts Center – Term Paper with the Q
Air Squats IC until all arrive. Partner up, size doesn’t matter. P1 does rail crawl, P2 does 20 Irkins and Hammers until your partner finishes. Flapjack. Repeato with 20 Derkins and LBCs.

Group 2: Fountain and Arts Center PAX flapjack.
P1 AMRAP derkins while P2 bear crawl around fountain. Flapjack.
P1 AMRAP L/R step up, P2 imperial walker walk around fountain. Flapjack.
P1 AMRAP dips, P2 lunge walk around fountain. Flapjack

Largemouth did an excellent Q job leading the faster pax to catch Franklin and a few of his rebellious and slower pax and then completely failed to engage same said beast in Mary, and instead engaged in the frivolities of rest waiting on the 6.

AO 7: Freebird and Yogi at Buffalo Lanes [6.4 miles]
With the recent arrival of Freebird’s 2.0, Yogi came up with a game plan on arrival: 50 ct each SSH, merkins, squats, WWII, and 50 fire ant bites for Flip Flop [that’s singular].

Mosey to and gather at the corner of Old Apex and Highhouse Road for a half mile AYG run to the corner of Maynard and Highhouse Road. Etrade, Frey Daddy and Largemouth smoked it. As a group, we ran the final 1+ mile down Highhouse Road to Bond Park Kiosk.

COT BOND Park: [8.2 miles]
Banjo led the pax through a series of yoga stretches before invisible shirt Franklin finished out Mary with 2 rounds of have a nice day, Count-a-rama, and name-a-rama


Hi-Liter with closing Prayer     CSAUP BOM –>  CARPEX ODYSSEY BOM


Matthew 21:21    I tell you the truth, if you have faith and don’t doubt, you can do things like this and much more.

CARPEX distance covered

YHC Banjo


REMINDER: CARPEx CSAUP shirts will be open for purchase for another 5 days. Get ’em here –> CARPEX ODYSSEY SHIRT ORDER and MORE! and pass along to other PAX. #gear

Gather at the boat dock picnic tables for food and water thanks to the SAG wagon crew; Pet Sounds, Shank, Smokey, Stove Pipe, Chinese Downhill, Bocephus and his 2.0 Bamm Bamm; for providing food and beverages at every stop and safety at all major intersections. Thanks to our photographers CeeLo, Pinto, and mystery Drone pilot.



BEAKER and FRANKLIN need to invest in some nipple cream. Invisible shirt Franklin is well, ….. 😦
Fire ants strategically placed for Flip Flop at Buffalo Lanes

• If you can do the Odyssey, then you can ________________!
• M quote summarizing the weekend and F3 and CSAUP and BRR and…: “Why can’t we just have a Saturday morning where my name is not on an emergency contact list”

Flip Flop: jeez, there’s so much, don’t know where to begin.
• Tecumseh had some variation of monkey humpers……the PAX called them Tecumpers.
• CeeLo was like some fast superhero: he would take your photograph on the greenway, then 4 minutes later taking your photo on the street, then he’d be up on a parking deck 2 minutes later, then hanging off a tree 3 minutes later, etc……the guy was everywhere!
• When it got light out, put my glowstick in my pants cuz didn’t want to throw it on ground……about 8.5 miles later wonder why my crotch is uncomfortable…..hey, there’s a glow stick in there.
• I didn’t think someone could mumble chatter for 4 hours…….Burt can.
• Exit polls tallied: Hermes and Flip Flop voted most handsome….by far.
• Several men who had only posted a handful of times were convinced to do the Odyssey—hahahaha!!!!
• Two words: Pain Sticks.
• The three SAG wagons were key, although seemed weird (and amazing) that Frey Daddy insisted on pushing the trucks between AOs, but hey, he wanted the extra workout.
• E-Trade lapped the PAX……..no seriously, I think he did the Odyssey twice and lapped everyone.
• I’ll probably never forget Fire Ant Field with Yogi.

Flacco. Enjoyed the ODYSSEY except for the pain sticks. And what’s with that “8.2 miles” turning into “13.5 miles” on my Garmin! Funny how that happened…

Salt tablets doled out along the way. Too little, too late for the most part.

Hello Kitty: If you can do the CSAUP, you can continue to skip the Maynard…

Flip Flop: Based on the #Odyssey exit survey, Yogi and Freebird will start Carpex’s newest AO at the Buffalo Lanes Field. They are undecided of the name, but leaning towards Fire Ant Field or Sandspur Lot. How bout Folsom Prison Field for those inappropriate squats Yogi was performing. Starts at 5:00 am and ends when Yogi stops those jumpitysidewaysy jacks.

Callahan. Joe Smith…I know you weren’t able to make, but we did think about you. It was decided you’d pass out around mile four #whole30

Hello Kitty had his right heel surgically removed since the CSAUP. RIP, right heel.

@hermes – always with the one handed merkins, we get it…you’re strong! #IfICouldIWouldShowOffToo

Pet Sounds:
@F3Chicago Launch – CHECK
5am SAG Odyssey – CHECK
10am Connor’s Confirmation Mass – CHECK
3pm flight to Chicago – CHECK
Chicago Marathon – OH SHIT


Bartman keys to recovery:
1. Hydrate.
2. Active recovery beats RICE, according to Dr. Mirkin (really.)
3. Hydrate.
4. Not with beer.
5. Okay maybe a little. Protein, good fats, and… Hydrate.
6. Pierogi: Where does sitting on my butt watching TCU fit in the above Bartman? @Flip Flop (that’s singular) is forcing beer down my gullet

E.T. Having never done a CSAUP before, I didn’t know what to expect going into the Odyssey but I can tell you it was a legit beat down probably the most physically and mentally challenging event I’ve ever done for those who didn’t come out, you missed out!

Flip Flop: Fantastic being able to run on the greenways for part of CSAUP

Ollie: Had a lot of fun with you all on this trek. Thanks go out to Jiggly Puff, WKRP, Burt, Tecumseh and Franklin who stuck with me or provided a pace for me to stick to. Leg cramps suck!

Term Paper: rail crawls are pretty tough and probably not particularly safe. But YHC believes they are unique to BO (in CARPEx) so it seemed appropriate to call for them. Thankfully, no face plants requiring dental reconstruction. There was some kind of small event going in in the Arts Center and we certainly got some looks of confusion from those entering the building. Apparently, Wonk spotted us at some point based on tweet over the weekend. It was great to have the directive to ensure that the 6 successfully navigates to the Bowling center. Got to talk about the general suckfest of a GoRuck Heavy with Tecumseh.

Hermes: Thanks Franklin for the reminder that I was supposed to be with the 6 after our AO. And thanks Burt and Tecumseh for being freed to lead on that until I figured it out!

Riptide. A day later… Soreness aside a few thoughts. We have a heck of a lot to be proud of here in our CARPEx region. From the growth, the new workouts, the diversity of our Pax to the organization of events like yesterday. Big thanks to SAG support and photography. We couldn’t have done it without you. I’m proud to be part of this group and something like yesterday just makes you pause and take stock of what a group of HIMs we have. The future of CARPEx looks bright. Thanks for letting me part of it.

WKRP. Grateful to have joined this group of HIM. It’s officially been 4 months since my first post which was actually at the Crick. A couple of my close friends encouraged me to give it a try. @F3 Earhart was there that day and got me on the CARPEx email and GroupMe, which I quickly muted, LOL! If you had told me then that I would have completed a 4 hour 1/2 marathon CSAUP, I would have first said, “WTH is a CSAUP”, but I would have also laughed in your face. Super proud to be a part of F3 CARPEx and look forward to what we will accomplish next….together!

Hermes: Mega T-Claps to the support team and to the organizers

Pickles: Finally done with yard work and about to hit the shower! I wasn’t sure earlier this week that I could do this today, and I’m not sure I could have without the encouragement and support from all you guys. From the SAG crew, to the AO Qs, to the many of you who lumbered along with me when I brought up the 6, it was an incredible experience!

Flip Flop: Hi-Liter’s opening and closing prayers were right on.

Multiple: Big thanks to the SAG wagon crew; Pet Sounds, Shank, Smokey, Stove Pipe, Chinese Downhill, Bocephus and his 2.0 Bamm Bamm; for providing food and beverages at every stop and safety at all major intersections. Thanks to our photographers CeeLo, Pinto, and mystery Drone pilot. Thanks to Chanticler for check-in.

Hermes: T-Claps to Shut-in for Q-ing SWW after attending the NCSU game / day before Odyssey and Q-ing Kryptonite after the Odyssey.

Anonymous: It was an honor to suffer with you Men!


Etymolgy of the CARPEX Odyssey

Introducing a CSAUP in a new region is steeped in tradition, said no one on the record. Not unless you consider a tradition of being completely stupid and generally seeking utter pointlessness. If that is the goal, then we have been running an unofficial CSAUP since Burt was a lowly F3 pledge.

There are a couple of men that pride themselves on outward appearances, having some semblance of professionality in this F3 world. Men with the chutzpah to make official the unofficial. Secretly veiled as an F2 [wink] over a couple of brews, the CSAUP discussion started. As of this writing, no one would step forward.

A general consensus emerged.
1. Bait and Switch; market the CSAUP so that anyone would think they could do it. 8.2 mile bait / 13.5 mile switch
2. Make it ridiculously difficult, yet doable
3. Survival would require teamwork.

With the seed planted and nurtured over many a brewski, a plan was made. The paper napkin maps from Burt and Banjo were scrapped. Hotspot’s cartographer was never hired. Men stepped up. Term paper had an original idea with the route. Ma Bell dialed in on the dates. And Bartman caught a lucky one arriving at the name “Odyssey”.

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