Bradford's Ordinary

The Whole 30

YHC rolled into Bradford’s Ordinary at 0525, pumped and ready to Make It A Great Thursday by starting his day off with another PAX-filled running of the 2nd Inaugural #MeowMile (a “fully sanctioned” and federally trademarked BO/Carpex EC event).  At 0530, YHC became thoroughly confused when nary a PAX was in sight.  Not a one.  Was this the end of the #MeowMile tradition?  The final chapter of a dynasty? YHC gathered his self-confidence and set off by his lonesome for Cary’s Little Cuba.

It gets lonely out there by yourself, men, I don’t mind telling you.  A PAX can get lost in his own thoughts and fall into a deep hole of his subconscious, and who knows what happens then.  This is, of course, precisely what happened to YHC.

YHC was cruising along at his usual BRR-2018 pace of a sub-4:00 mile when he happened to pass the new La Farm Bakery location.  Around this bakery sits a permanent smell haze of deliciousness.  Fresh baked bread, freshly fruited muffins, cannoli for days.  This gluten-scented oasis reminded YHC that maybe he would grab a few pastries on the way to the office today, just to keep a great day going.  That in turn reminded YHC that it was almost the weekend already.  And THAT, friends and neighbors, is when YHC was reminded of a little commitment that he made to the M only the week prior – that beginning this Sunday, YHC and M-YHC will embark upon a month-long hunger strike known as the “Whole 30” diet.  And all thanks to YHC unthinkingly mentioning to his M several weeks ago that several of the PAX had described this awful-sounding endeavor to eat nothing enjoyable and drink nothing enjoyable for a whole month with no particular purpose in mind.

And so, as YHC turned back onto Academy Street, alternating between whether he will even be able to pull himself out of the fartsack next week on 350 calories per day, and what his game plan is to drink all the beer in the garage fridge before midnight on Saturday, YHC pulled himself out of his emotional gloom by his ruckstraps and found the inspiration he needed to lead the PAX of BO back to the path of glory…by imposing upon them a pain analogous to that presently faced by YHC’s stomach for the next 30 days.

The Whole30 Warm-Up

18 other PAX with well-rounded diets gathered at the flag as YHC arrived from the #MeowMile.  2 FNGs along for the ride; a concisely-worded disclaimer was given, necessary release forms signed in triplicate, and off we go to the bank.

30x Side Straddle Hops IC, 30x Cotton Pickers IC, 30x Merkins IC (plank hold after 10 and 20; then resume), 30x Imperial Walkers IC.

The Whole30 Thang

Mosey to The Greatest Parking Deck Ever to Have Existed.  Plank hold for a Whole 30 seconds.  Beginning at the 1st floor entrance: 1 burpee, 1 merkin, and 1 WWII (known on the interwebs as a BMW 3 Series); run to far end of parking deck level for 10 burpees, 10 merkins, and 10 WWIIs (that’s 30 Whole exercises); up the incline for 2 burpees, 2 merkins, and 2 WWIIs; run to far end for 9 of each; up the incline then 3 of each, run to far end for 7 of each, etc. etc. until the Whole (30) PAX climbs the Whole (30) deck reaches the far side of the top level.  If you finish early, loop back and pick up the six.  Plank hold for a Whole 30 seconds.

Mosey to near side of top level and partner up.

P1: BTTW; P2: run back across the top level, stopping at each of 3 lighted street lights for 10 exercises (a Whole total 30) of 10x wide grip merkin, 10x sumo squat, 10x LBCs, then run back and flapjack.

Next: P1: peoples chair; P2: run across, at the street lights: 10x diamond grip merkins, 10x jump squat, 10x Freddie Mercuries, then run back and flapjack.

Next: no partners, Whole (30) PAX together: run across, at the street lights: 10x merkins, 10x monkey humpers, 10x American Hammers.

Take the stairs down to the 1st level.  Split up partnerships into 2 groups, and enjoy a nice extended 2-group indian run back to Waldo and Chatham.  Billy run to the flag in 2 phases: sleeves first, because that’s only polite.


30x Merkins IC (plank hold after 10 and 20; then resume), 30x American Hammers, and time to call it and find some tilapia filets because I haven’t eaten any protein in at least 45 minutes.


Tardy count-o-rama.  19 PAX name-o-rama.  Announcements: Q School on 10/1, Odyssey on 10/7.  YHC took us out.


An honor as always to lead you men.  YHC is grateful for the opportunity.  YHC will always be able to look back upon this day with fondness…as opposed to YHC’s immediate future of eating exclusively chicken thighs covered in sunflower seed spread for breakfast for the next 30 trips around the sun.

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