Danger Zone

Audible City

18 of the best looking gentlemen in F3Carpex convened at the greatest Area of Operation in the nation:  DangerZone!  A FNG roared in a sweet looking 1962 Mustang (could have been a 1954-1968 Mustang, I have no idea, but it was a classic car nonetheless).  Small talk and Smack talk ensued until 5:45 a.m., and we were off to run around The Pickle……

…..ooops, forgot to give disclaimer to FNG.  In an unprecedented move, the disclaimer was provided by YHC to the mustang guy while on the run, who then said something about his niece being bad, YHC “I’m sure she’ll be OK”, FNG said something like No my sneeze is bad, YHC “probably the humidity”, then FNG yelled at me “My knees are bad”!  You know that emogi on your phone with the wide open eyes, high eyebrows, and pursed lips?  That’s how I looked at him.  At this point, we are on lap two of the Pickle, including knee-buster side skips.  That’s when reality punched me in the nose:  this will be Audible City.

After 2 laps around The Pickle, we headed to the DangerZone field:  yes, the one that is anti-Apex:  natural grass, flat, and defectlessly trimmed.  The PAX circled up for extendo warm-up/exercises…….all performed in perfect cadence by YHC.

Legend:  —–> equals “hold it”

  • GM x 10
  • SSH x 25
  • Fazio AC reverse x 10 —–> Fazio AC forward x 10
  • Phelps arm swings x 10
  • IW x 10 —-> Hillbilly x 10
  • Merkins x 15 —-> Plank x 20 sec —-> MC x 10 —–>PJ x 10 —–> cheeeel cut x 20 sec
  • Saturday Night Stretch x 10

2 lines of knee-knockin’ Indian Run 1.5 laps and end up at the DangerZone rockpile, which is comprised of perfectly shaped rocks, nice hand-hold rocks, variety of sizes, and clean rocks….except underneath where you’ll find little friends of DangerZone, including black widows, scorpions, black mambas, fleas, bulldog ants, tse tse flies, lice, Burt, and deer ticks.

Get your body sculpting rock and circle up to perform some knee-busting squat ladder thingies:  perform 1 squat, then hold downward squat position 5 sec, perform 2 squats then hold downward position 5 sec, and so on until 10 squats.

Partner up, place rocks ~50 yards from each other.  Partner 1 performs said exercise until partner 2 returns, partner 2 runs to rock 50 yd away and performs 10 reps of said exercise, then runs back to partner 1.  Flip Flop.   Exercises performed:  rock curls, rock rows, rock press, rock out-and-up.

Knee-buster mini-series:  lunges ~15 yd, broad jump burpees x 5.  Jog to rocks and return to DangerZone rock pile.

Indian run to Smurf Island, wait for six squat hold, fellowship jog to rock wall….not just any rock wall…..but the World Famous DangerZone T.GI.F Rockwall.  Squat hold while YHC lectures PAX about becoming better men….starting right here today.  And that starts with the T.GI.F Rockwall:  Thankful rock, Good Intentions portal, and Forgiveness rock.

Fellowship to Smurf Island and partner up.  Partner 1 performs 5-10 reps of dips, derkins, Freddie Mercurys.  Partner 2 sprints to and touches the Thankful rock and internalizes what he is thankful for today, and sprints back to Partner 1.  Flip Flop.  Then sprint to and through Good Intentions portal and internalizes their good intention for the day; sprint back.  Flip Flop.  Then sprint to and touch Forgiveness Rock, and internalize forgiveness for them or someone else; sprint back.  Flip Flop.

Fellowship to Shovel Flag.  Groin/hamstring stretch x 30 sec.  6:30 a.m.

Count-a-Rama 18.  Name-a-Rama: we were all there, plus one FNG.  The last to give name-a-rama, the FNG, supplied his government name, age, then declared his F3 name “Mustang”!  After literally a max of 2 seconds, all PAX brand FNG with his new F3 name: Pinto!  He was much less excited about Pinto! than he was about his self-named Mustang!


  • Last day to sign up for Bulls game.  Contact Burt.  But….don’t contact Burt through GropeMe, as he will inundate the thread with useless banter.
  • Bike with F3 Spokes, or whatever they call it, with Hermes from Bond Park tomorrow (or was it Sunday?).  Anyway DM Hermes.  Spandex only.

Prayer Requests:

  • Flouride will be leaving for a week with a group to perform work in Nicaragua (i think it was Nicaragua).
  • Burt’s friend

Term Paper closed us out with awesomeness and the men dispersed to start their regularly scheduled Friday…..with Thankfulness, Good Intentions, and Forgiveness on their minds.

Nekked Mole Skin:

  • We counted off before the warm-up and somehow had numbers between 17-19.  To add to confusion, Term Paper swore another person joined us just before the first Indian Run.  Luckily, I wasn’t dealing with prime numbers and didn’t need to utilize a ninth audible.
  • Speaking of Term Paper, the man’s favorite “exercise” today was Recover.  He asked for Recover constantly…..like a little gnat.
  • Big News here!!!!  If you are leading a workout, and are worried about how it will turn out:  it is inversely proportional to if Burt is there constantly in your ear….like a little gnat.
  • It was gonna be a knee buster of a workout!
  • Pinto’s friend rolled up on a nice bike to see how he was doing.  At that time Pinto was picking up one of his patellae at the Good Intention portal, but he was fine.  We recruited the friend, who stated that he was “going to the gym in an hour”.  I told Pinto to work on getting him out for a workout.
  • I haven’t used WordPress since I had a MySpace account.

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