28 men and a three legged dog gathered on the streets of Apex this morning – since Cheddar Bo didn’t open the gates – for what YHC had provided clear notice would be a beatdown of anniversary proportions. Or, as YHC says in short hand, “fun.” And what an anniversary it was. Three years in the making thanks to my friend and mentor Life Alert, who in 2014 opened my eyes to the SadClown disease affecting my life, and who with Prenup, made the trek down from Raleighwood to be here for my Q.
PAX: McCants (QIC and YHC), Life Alert, Prenup, Flip Flop, Smokey, Pickles, Yogi, Burt, Grease Monkey, Michelob, Highlighter, Goose, Disco Duck, Hot Lips (FNG), Hello Kitty, Sooey, Joe Smith, Rotary, Snots, Grinch, Angry Elf, Saban, Crimson, Term Paper, Ma Bell, PBX, Blueing Out, and Repeato Repeato
Before YHC began, an FNG required a disclaimer, and Flip Flop made sure all were primed with McCants-trademarked hair gel, including Burt, and of course Yogi. Disclaimer given, gel applied, over the hill and through the woods towards the Thang we go.
Warmup (holy shit, YHC actually gave the PAX a warmup . . . ish): SSH, 10 penalty burpees care of Grease Monkey, Sir Fazio arm circles, and hey look there’s Ma Bell, so we’re going to do some standard Merkins.
Thang: Run to the bottom of greenway hill for Jacob’s Ladder (7 times up the hill, increasing burpees each time up 3/6/9/12/15/18/21), pick up the six with some extra burpees, jog to the rock pile for a traveling amigo (a rock somewhere between traveling and ego), to the basketball court for 10/10 Rock Webbs (Life Alert special), 10 rockees (burpees with your rock, also a la Life Alert), and 20 rock hard Homer to Marges (cuz Life Alert gets married in two weeks and we don’t want him to need another hip replacement after that honeymoon!). Replace your rock and All You Got to the top of the street. Jog to the front parking lot for a second All You Got to the end of the lot, and hey didn’t someone say it was YHC’s third anniversary? Time for a third All You Got to the end of the lot. Close with YHC’s shortest Mary ever, 20 LBCs.
Prayers go up for M Hot Spot who has surgery today. Continued prayers for my brother Chinese Downhill and his family as the remember the anniversary of his son’s death. RIP Gibson.
According to our senior attorney, today’s installment included 100 and some odd burpees. Adding that to my tally for the last three years brings me to approximately 17,921 burpees since starting F3. This is also the number of beers I plan to drink at Life Alert’s wedding in two weeks, so I hope it is not a cash bar despite Life Alert’s statements to the contrary today. Thanks go out to Flip Flop for supplying the hair gel; this is now clearly a Thing. If you think YHC’s workouts are hard, it is because I’m doing everything I can to see if I can run Burt out of breath. So far, I’m 0-for-forever. Props to Blueing Out for bringing out FNG Josh, who probably was going to end up with the name Banana Pancakes (since I called him Jack Johnson during the workout) until he told us he was a nurse, leading Yogi to exact immediate and forever lasting pain by naming Josh Hot Lips. Everyone reading this under the age of 35 just had to Google that. This marks yet another chapter in Carpex history where we name a new guy the absolute worst name possible (see, e.g., Donkey Kick for the pastor that came out last week).
Men, it is an absolute pleasure every morning I see you in the gloom. Rain, snow, sun, hot, cold, it doesn’t matter. The mornings I don’t make it are where the true gloom is. Thank you for the joy and fullness, for the hate and hardness, for the friendship and brotherhood. Iron sharpens iron.
P.S. For old time’s sake, here was the backblast from my first workout (read it now before F3Nation deletes it forever, which is happening soon): http://f3nation.com/2014/06/18/au-pairs-fashion-statement-he-never-ceases-to-the-pax/