An uncountable number of PAX showed up at Danger Zone this morning. By far and away the most ever to show up to a workout. Way more than Obama’s inauguration. One person was not there: Comey (although Coney showed). Nor should he be. The last thing we need at any workout are showboats. Sad! What we need more of is ‘Merica. Like Ronald Reagan riding a T-Rex carrying a flag and shooting an AR-15. And that is what YHC provided this morning, but not before using some McCants-trademarked-gel to ensure YHC’s hair was perfect. I mean, Donald Trump perfect. The best hair you could ever have. Others tried the gel in hopes they too could have hair like YHC. They failed. Sad!
Warmup – Four laps around the pickle in honor of Mr. President’s first term. The only thing more amazing than the President’s first 100 days was YHC’s opening form. It was the best. Truly amazing. You have never seen anything like it. His karaoke, high knees and butt kicks will go down as the greatest ever. There is no denying it. While the PAX was so HUGE that it could barely fit in the park, we found room for a little MAGA > Sad! (Mountain Climbers, Abe Vigoda, Good Mornings, American Hammers, Superman, Australian Mountain Climbers, Derkins, and the exclamation, Burpees).
The Greatest Most Unbelievable Thang to Have Ever Happened – If anyone tells you their Thang is better, it is probably because the watch CNN, or read the GroupMe listserv, aka FAKE NEWS. YHC knows that “DP”, aka Donkey Party or Demo-liars (are) Pathetic, pales in comparison to DZ, because YHC was there, and there has never been a better YHC than YHC. My first 100 Qs will go down in history as the most productive, most American, most hard, most every other superlative you can think of. And today my friends, today’s Q was the greatest of them all. Just ask the Russians. Or Sean Spicer. Or female Sean Spicer. But I digress.
There are two things you can count on YHC to always do, and that is Make America Great Again. So, just how did YHC do that. By creating a new exercise.
The Donald Trump
Step 1 – Count the number of tweets Donald Trump has written in the past three days. Winning number this time: 22
Step 2 – Find a field or other area suitable for Donald Trumping
Step 3 – Merkins x tweets, All You Got to the other end of said area, Gorilla Walk (tweets = number of hops), jog to other end of said area, American Hammer x tweets, jog back
Step 4 – Complete four rounds of Step 3, aka, the “First Term”
Step 5 – Ask PAX if they think four years of Donald Trump is enough. Wait for “that guy.”
Step 6 – After that guy says “hell no,” complete as many additional rounds as time permits, aka the “Second Term.”
The Most Beautiful Mary – Don’t get me wrong, the First Lady is the most gorgeous first lady you have ever seen. Especially her nude photos, and the one of her in the leather bikini holding a gun on a plane, and the one of her draped across the piano while Donald Trump shows Stevie Wonder how a real man tickles the keys, oh, and the one when she made that face at the Inauguration that is probably similar to the one you are making right about now as you say “WTF how many cups of coffee did McCants drink” or “McCants is probably just doing this because Banjo complained about the length of McCants posts” or “wow McCants must really like Donald Trump” or “wow McCants must really not like Donald Trump” or “wow I can hear Franklin saying right now does anyone ever do any work” or “wow that hair gel must have gone to McCants brain” or just plain “wow.” Regardless, the First Lady is a sight to behold, but not as beautiful as the Mary YHC led. I mean it was beautiful. All my friends have told me so. In fact, it was the most amazing Mary ever in history (just to be clear, I think if the Donald were writing this he would actually say that and not even realize the blasphemy, but hey, nobody’s perfect). All other Marys are what? SAD! (Superman pulses, Australian mountain climbers, derkins, and the exclamation, burpees).