Yeah, I went to the F3Carpex Q-School a couple months ago, led by the honorable CK. I learned lots that day, however just like in high school and college, I got an A+ on the exam….but forgot everything after that day. Then the day comes for me to Q again, but I didn’t remember all of CK’s simple lessons that day…….kinda like taking the GRE and forgetting how to calculate simple items you learned in previous years, like a cosine or tangent.
That being said, YHC’s Q was one of the best of all time!, but the PAX thought otherwise and did nothing but whine and complain for 45 minutes. “You’re counting too slow” “That’s not how we do that exercise” “You’re cadence is too fast” “But we’ve never done this exercise before” “My rock is too small” “I hope there is a Q-School soon for you” “My rock is too heavy” “That’s not the name of that exercise”…. blah, blah, blah, blah. In the end, I just wanted the PAX to get out of their comfort zone and into the Danger Zone!
Prologue: Burt rolled in blaring 80’s music at level 10 volume and level 12 treble. Some dancing, air guitaring and lip-syncing ensued; well OK mostly McCants. Bartman planted the Shovel Flag. I really needed some last minute advice and nurturing from one of the DZ Site-Qs, but there was no DZ Site Q in Sight, nor a DZ Site Q on Sight. I shouldn’t have been surprised. At precisely 5:45 I was ready to start! Wait though, a FNG is standing in the circle ready to go, and his arms are full: dude was carrying two bottles of water, his car keys, borrowed gloves (not on his hands), and an extra shirt. At that point, one of our Respects gruffly instructed the 21 year-old to “put that stuff away, you won’t need any of that here”. So FNG goes back to his car and sllloooowwwwlllly puts all his stuff away. Respect barks “just throw your keys on the ground near your car”. hahahahaha!!!! Welcome FNG and recite a Flip Flop disclaimer.
Warm-Up: Jog pickle 2.25 times with sprinkled butt kicks, high knees, side skips, retro jogs. Perform perfect cadence for: SSH x 20, GM x 10, Phelps arm swings x 7, Small Fazios front and back x 10, Merkin x 10, MC x 12.
Thang: Jog to rock pile at soccer field for ego rock. Count off 1s-2s, lines facing each other with their personal rock for: 1. Rock curls, rock rows, overhead press: x 10-15 each. Then Indian Run around entire field. 2. Squats, Lunges, Out-Up: x 10-15. Then Indian Run the entire field faster than before. *****some men complained that their rock was too small (ahem Grease) or too heavy (Water Wings); seriously it’s an ego rock—-you know we are probably doing some curls. FNG had a gigantic boulder; literally the biggest rock in the pile….you know that rock….the one that has lots of centipedes and black widows underneath cuz nobody has ever used that rock in an F3 workout. Banjo had a rock the size of a Foster’s Oil Can; c’mon Banjo build some muscle and get an ego rock!
Indian Run to shelter. Perform 2 sets each of Decline Parker Peter, Stabilization bench Bear Crawl, and alternating step ups. These were performed in perfect cadence….to me, but complaints from the PAX led me to hand off 2 exercises to Bartman and Shank. They called out the exercise in cadence—–let me tell you, subpar cadence counting at best, and they completely lost control of all PAX. Luckily, I corralled the men and continued our mission.
Jog to sand volleyball court. Bear crawl one court, sprint one court, bear crawl one court, sprint one court. People’s Chair. Flip flop the bear crawl/sprint back the other way. Two Amigos. Flip flop bear crawl/sprint the other way. People’s Chair.
Jog to the Danger Zone TGIF Rock Wall. Squat hold while I lecture PAX about the meaning on the TGIF Rock Wall. Thankful rock, Good Intentions portal, Forgiveness rock.
Jog to Smurf Island and partner up.
Partner 1 sprints to TGIF rock wall and touches the Thankful rock (and quietly is thankful for something). Partner 2 rotating x 10 Irkins/Derkins until partner returns. Flip flop.
Partner 1 sprints to TGIF rock wall and runs through the Good Intentions portal (and quietly states good intention for the day). Partner 2 rotating x 10 Irkins/Derkins until partner returns. Flip flop.
Partner 1 sprints to TGIF rock wall and touches the Forgiveness rock (and quietly forgives self or someone else). Partner plank-o-rama until partner returns. Flip flop.
Jog to shovel flag. All done.
COT: count-o-rama = 15, with one FNG. Name-o-rama. After talking with FNG, it was clear his name was going to be MOAB.
Just kidding! BIG Announcement from Water Wings! New AO in Apex: Bounty Hunters!, at Hunter Park. Launch Thursday April 27th!
Praises: new job at NCSU (i think Containment?), Banjo’s M school success, Burt’s friend.
Ball Of Man: McCants took us out like a pro. Seriously he brought the heat on the closing prayer, and I loved it!
Bottom line: it was a good friday on Good Friday.